


The Regrets of the Skaian Citzens

by Ihere



Series: PoliceForcestuck [19]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Depression, F/F, F/M, Friendship, Is Not Always Magic, Malnutrition, Murder, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Self Harm, Sexuality, Sins, failures, relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-17
Updated: 2013-12-06
Packaged: 2017-12-15 07:47:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 22,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/847068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ihere/pseuds/Ihere
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's time for people to start thinking about themselves and others.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Aradia

Something scratches at your throat at eleven twenty-two. You loudly hack it out of your system before returning to your computer. Several of your coworkers give you an annoyed glance, but it’s not like they’d ever say anything. No one says anything to you if they don’t have to. 

Your name is Aradia Megido, reporter for The Reporting Times, and you are sick of everyone around you.

Your monitor has a short summary of a segment that you’ll be presenting tomorrow; some daft clown is trying a new recipe for his restaurant each day for a month. So far the results are not pleasant such as using lizard eyes as a substitute for chicken in chicken noodle soup. The whole scene is a waste of your talents.

You’ve notice that they are trying to get rid of you. Slowly yes. They’re just too scared to outright fire you, but they don’t know what they have to fear. Oh if they only knew . . . But in the meantime they are giving you assignments that are more pathetic than the last. You’ve managed to get better ones by directing ‘disappointed’ looks at your producers. The last time you thought he made a mess in his pants. What a spineless little rodent for them to even think that they could cripple you with such ideas.

Why don’t you just kill them all and take control for yourself?

You wince in pain and cling to your head as the voices begin again.

Own them as your pets and kill them when you are done.

That’s not how it works, you explain to yourself. 

You’re just not strong enough to smash their skulls with your power.

Your head feels like it’s splitting. It’s not right to kill them.

EXCUSES! Your insubordination is delaying the right of power to our Lord. 

You don’t even know who that is! Both hands hold your head together. 

You have no right to know! You fail to comply to our orders, so what right do you have to know who holds the sovereignty?

You complied with the demands didn’t you?

NO! Not enough! You only follow what you felt was ‘easy.’ If you want to be a true follower then leave this building in a pit and follow our Lord.

You can’t do that to these people! They are your friends!

You didn’t feel that way a second ago.

Get out of this mind! 

Who else would you go to? You have no one left to help you. You made them all fear you; as you have every right to do so.

Please . . . Stop . . . 

“Aradia?”

The voice causes you to snap awake and look at the perpetrator. “Oh. Hello Nepeta.” It is eleven twenty-three.

The small troll holds a cupcake in front of you. The pastry itself is dolled up with icing to look like a cat; not unlike the outfit Nepeta used to wear when she was younger. “What do you think? I’m giving it to Equius for our moirail anniversary. You remember Equius, right?”

There is no smile on your face, “Yes. He is the Chief of the Police Department. Congratulations. It looks great.” You turn back to your work before being irksomely prodded in the shoulder by the petite female. You glance over to the side, “Yes?”

“I would like you to try it!” She offers holding it towards your mouth. “I want to make sure I got the ingredients just right!” You turn back to your computer. 

“I’m busy. Ask someone else.”

Nepeta persists of course, “Oh but I must insist! You’re never too busy to eat a cupcake!”

“Well I don’t have the appetite for one. Ask someone else.”

“But you’re the only person that I can rely on. You know everyone else here would just tell me that it’s fine. I only trust ‘you’ to give me an honest answer.”

“I’m no expert, nor do I care to become one.”

“Well I’m not an expert either, so eat up!” Nepeta’s perseverance is starting to draw a crowd with your coworkers.

Don’t you dare to even think of eating a morsel of that foul sweet, the voices in your head command. You have better objectives than to please that child.

Nepeta isn’t a child, you respond. And what would you suggest?

Throw it in her face for all it’s worth. Her feelings mean nothing to us. If you would have listened to us earlier than this wouldn’t be a problem.

You can’t just kill her. You look up at the troll’s face. She’s so sweet and innocent. You know what she’s really trying to accomplish, and a small part of you appreciates it when the louder part isn’t telling you otherwise. A part of you still remembers the little Nepeta that spent time with you when you weren’t with Equius. She was one of your only true friends, and probably the only one left.

Nepeta is a part of you that you’re not ready to let go.

You come begging to us, telling us that you’d willingly give up everything to serve our lord, the voices growl. We THOUGHT that we could trust you after you disposed your relationship with that high blood, but if you can’t sever all of your ties than what use are you?

Nepeta has been waiting for your response for what feels like hours to you but is only seconds. You reach out for the cupcake and slowly peel off the wrapper as you take a large bite out of it. The rich cake flows down your throat as your stomach welcomes it eagerly.

You continue to eat the cupcake not really noticing the flavors, but just relishing in the glory. Before you know it, the cupcake is gone. Nepeta smiles down on you, “So did you like it?”

You compose yourself before answering, “Yes. I’m sure that Chief Zahhak will love it.”

Nepeta smiles and walks off feeling accomplished. You are left with a wrapper wondering if you can nibble at the bits remaining. But when you check to make sure no one is looking you find that your coworkers immediately turned back to their work. Apparently the passion you showed the cupcake was more than they’ve seen in months.

You excuse yourself to the bathroom.

Idiot. Idiot. IDIOT. Why did you embarrass yourself like that?

We told you. That troll will only make you weak like every other living creature in this forsaken city.

You sit down on a toilet seat in a stall. You run your hands through your hair as you look down ashamed. This isn’t you. Months ago you wouldn’t have reacted that way towards a simple dessert. But you’ve been practicing your psychic abilities more and more. More than what’s healthy you suppose. The energy is draining on you and you’ve been skipping many meals. You look at your right hand, at this point your once plump fingers are now boney. Not to mention your hair is losing its sheen and your horns are feeling brittle around the base. 

You close your eyes tightly trying to prevent the tears from flowing. You honestly think that you are dying, but you don’t dare try to make yourself healthy again.

You are weak! This isn’t how a follower of our Lord should act! Stand up! We said stand up!

You stand up from the toilet.

Get out of the toilet box and walk to the mirror.

You comply.

Look at your arm.

You roll up the long sleeve of your left arm. Deep blue scars still linger there but only because you continue to cut yourself there whenever they start to fade. It is eleven twenty seven.

Those scars are a reminder. You are feeble without your psychic powers and without us. You cannot trust anyone to protect you other than us. You should not help anyone else except for us. You belong to us.

You’re tired. Too tired. “I need to eat,” you tell yourself in the mirror.

No! There are too many plans that you are delaying you must . . .

You do your best to drown them out. It has been a long time since your head was silent.

At eleven thirty eight you are on your lunch break walking to a small café a few blocks away to clear your head and fill your stomach. The streets are mostly empty and nobody notices anything. You are walking practically offline which shouldn’t surprise you when you finally run into someone else and drop to the floor.

“Whoa!” he says spilling his coffee over your head. However you react on instinct and levitate the hot beverage with your powers. The troll you ran into stares at you stunned. You messed up big time.

You have the coffee tossed aside and glare at him prepared to do whatever is necessary. 

The troll holds his hands up, “Wait let’s not do anything murderously here.” You don’t respond as you prepare the energy around his head. It would just be a quick squeeze and then you run. “No look!” He kneels down and if he was any slower you would have crushed him; however, he lowers his red and blue glasses to reveal red and blue eyes that clearly show psychic energy.

“You’re a . . .”

He fixes his glasses back onto his head and holds a hand out to you that you take with little hesitation. He seems nervous of you not knowing what you’ll do next. You almost feel bad now that he acts like a little wiggler. You point a finger to a coffee shop, “Want to talk?” He nods obediently and follows you inside. You wonder for a second if he thought that he didn’t have a choice.

You wait at a table for two in an isolated corner as the troll brings two fresh cups of coffee to you; he seems eager to avoid you. He sets one down in front of you and looks unsure of the situation. 

The troll sits down across from you, “So I didn’t poison it or anything.” The troll looks away angrily to curse at himself.

“I’m sorry this is just strange. I’ve never met anyone like . . me.”

He blows a raspberry down, “You think I have? It’s too dangerous to randomly ask strangers if they ‘special.’ And I don’t mean retarded shit faces.”

“How do you know I’m not dangerous right now?”

He gives a smirk, “I don’t, but I do know your secret and you know mine.” He must be so pleased with himself believing that he is safe.

You take a sip of the coffee and your head clears, “Actually I do know someone else, but I can’t say the compromise worked so well. . For either of us”

“Oh I see.” He starts to look worried, “Well whoever it was is probably an asshole.” 

You give a light smile, “In a way, yes she is.” Your eyes try to look through his thick glasses, “I don’t know your name.”

He seems either disappointed or pleased, “I must be a loser in comparison to Aradia Megido; you don’t even remember me.”

It doesn’t surprise you that he’d know you, “I’m sorry but I don’t recognize you.”

“Yeah you interviewed me one time but it wasn’t a real interview I’d guess. You left early in it with something better to do. I’m Sollux.”

Now you sort of recognize him, “Oh. Right. Sorry about that.” He can tell that you are barely listening to him.

“No I get it. I’m not that interesting anyway. Especially compared to what happened to you afterwards.” It is eleven forty-eight

What a cocky-Well you remember him now, “Right my incident.” The scars seem to tingle and the voices try to raise their voices but you shut them out. “So you’re an officer; which means you know the Chief.”

He scoffs, “I totally know the Chief. You do too, right? The big, tough guy?” No you’re messing this up, wait he’s only trying to prove that he’s important enough to be protected, but why did you bring him up? “You’ve probably interviewed him enough to memorize his sweat stains.”

“Oh I wouldn’t say that,” you lie. “How is it working for him?”

“It pays the bills you could say. He’s starting to get frustrated of me.”

“Oh?”

“He wants me to take his job. I have the experience and I could surpass him completely and make the entire department more efficient, but I can’t. I don’t want to draw attention to myself and risk people finding out my secret.”

“It can’t be that bad.”

“I try to convince myself that, but I’d rather not risk it,” he admits. 

Something is bugging you, “Why is Chief Zahhak trying to be replaced?”

“He’s being offered a job as head of security for my girlfriend, pays better I bet.”

Your throat suddenly feels dry so you sip your coffee, “Girlfriend? Who is she?”

Sollux starts to look uncomfortable like you do, “Feferi Peixes, the mayor. I thought you knew that.” Of course now you really recognize him. This is the troll that is constantly seen around the mayor, but you never paid attention to him. You are the worst reporter.

“Right,” you respond. You sip your coffee some more.

“Listen,” you look up and see that sparks are starting to swarm under his glasses. “If you hurt her or tell her I swear to Grub I’ll-“

“She doesn’t even know?”

Sollux looks a little upset, “No.”

You tilt your head a little curious, “So how do you . . .” you twist your two index fingers together. 

He starts to blush, “Stop that!” he stammers. 

You are starting to have fun with this, “Well? Don’t you take off the glasses?” This is the most casual conversation you’ve had in a long time.

“I-I tell her it’s an intimacy issue!”

“You’ve been with her for a while, when are you going to tell her?”

“I don’t know.” He starts to tap his fingers on the table, “So . . do you have a matesprit or whatever?”

“. . It’s complicated.” You’re not sure how much to tell this stranger. Sollux looks away to drop the subject, but you really don’t want to. “I got out of a long-time relationship months ago and I haven’t dated since.”

“Fuck, must have been a shitty break up.”

“It was,” the more you start to tell him the more you want to. “I broke up with him because we wanted different things.” Sollux doesn’t respond except for nodding his head listening; it’s somehow better than any words. “Excuse me,” you say standing up, “I need to get something to eat.” You walk off to the counter to purchase a bagel.

What are you doing, you ask yourself. You can’t seriously be thinking about telling him about Equius. You hardly know this troll. But . . you know enough about Sollux to ruin him. 

You feel better talking to him, can it hurt you?

You walk back nibbling on your bagel, and when you sit down you begin to tell him, “I dated a high blood who didn’t want our relationship public. That’s part of the reason why I was kidnapped, and why I ended our relationship.”

Sollux looks at you stunned by your opening information. “Do you talk to anyone about this?”

“No.”

He sighs and pulls out a pen. He scribbles down on a napkin and hands it to you. “This is my number. We should stick together and keep each other sane. I’m sure fucking close to snapping. I need to go now, but if you need to talk I’ll try to be less of an idiot and try to help. If you want. If you don’t want to then toss it. Your decision and I won’t bother you again.” He stands up, “I need to go back to work. Be careful Aradia . . . When I first saw you I thought you were dead.” Sollux turns his back on you, “I’m worried about you. Bye.”

As he walks away you finally realize and admit that you are dead. And that you’ve been dead for a long time. It is twelve o-one.


	2. Karkat

“Gack!” you hack into the sleeve of your soft sweatshirt. You woke up with a cold this morning and the cold weather is not helping you. You try to continue walking down the sidewalk, but you are forced to stop to cough. 

“FUCK!” you shout to the ground. “I’ve probably lost my bitchkicking lungs at this point.”

“Whoa bro,” your moirail cautions, “be careful there.” He whacks you back a few times until you feel better enough to stand. “There, healthy as a motherfucker.”

Your name is Karkat Vantas and you most certainly do not feel as healthy as a motherfucker; unless motherfuckers feel like bitches getting shit shoved down their throats. “Please kill me now Gamzee.”

“No can do, but maybe you should have stayed home. I promise on my motherfucking life that the restaurant is clean as the Virgin Mary’s titties.”

You look at him skeptically, “Who the fuck is that?”

“Someone who apparently has clean titties? I don’t motherfucking know bro, some human outside one of those buildings you told me to avoid told me so. Super clean religious figure like my Messiahs.”

“You walked by a church? There’s a church in Skaia?”

“I wasn’t exactly-“

“No. Remember what I said,” you remind him as you pull out a cigarette.

Like an idiotic school brat, Gamzee recites, “Don’t tell Karkat stuff that could hurt me. Karkat is a cop and doesn’t need my pointless shit annoying him. Don’t tell cops what I do that’s illegal.”

“So was what you were about to tell me illegal?” Your moirail doesn’t answer. “Okay good. And bad, but you’re learning.” Gamzee helps you light your painkiller. 

“No but seriously you look like the miracle I have come out of me after a long celebration party.”

“I feel like . . puke.”

“I think you need some sleep Karkat. You should get some motherfucking Zs going on like on those cartoons I watch.”

You wave him off, “No. Every time I sleep . . .” 

“You get bad dreams,” he finishes gaining a frown. You nod your head; before you started coughing you were telling Gamzee about your most recent dream. Every time you closed your eyes the same horrible memories appear: seeing people dead in the alleyway, seeing Jade forced against a wall by Droog, even incidents from the Care House. Every single fucking time. You barely have any energy in you; it’s a good thing that today you have a day off.

The streets are especially busy around you. Cars are honking and people are shouting; it’s enough to make you die. Figuratively you hope.

“I’ll be fine. That’s who I am, I’m the troll that puts up with everything.”

“But Karkat-“

“That enough Gamzee! I don’t want to hear another word.” Grub you swear he’s your three-sweep-old or something; a perfect example on why you don’t want any fucking kids.

“Officer Vantas!” A woman calls out from behind. You and Gamzee turn around to find a young woman running up to you in heels. What kind of monstrosity is coming to probably end your life? But she soon gets close enough that you are able to identify her as a friend of Kanaya. And Jade. And Vriska. What the fuck is with this woman to befriend those three and to try to talk to you, and in public no less!

Gamzee prods your shoulder, “Who’s that?”

“Jade and Kanaya’s friend.” Fuck you don’t remember her name.

The woman finally reaches you, “Hello Karkat, I hope you don’t mind me being informal now.”

You stare at her gawkily, “Fine.”

She raises an eyebrow skeptically judging you, you bet. “So is this the Gamzee that I’ve heard so much about?”

He sticks a hand out, “Sup chicaboo.” 

Ms. What’s-Her-Name turns to you again, “Aren’t you going to be a gentleman and introduce me?” A gentleman? Oh she’s fucking with you now! She knows that you don’t know her! What a cocktugging bitch!

“We have to get going now.” You turn around and your head starts to sway.

“Oh? Now what could be so important today?” You grab Gamzee by the arm, but he doesn’t really notice.

“Ah Karbro and I are just hanging out.” Your eyes start to droop and your cigarette falls from your mouth.

“Well I must admit that I too have plans for today, but I wouldn’t mind spending some time with the infamous Officer Vantas. And his loyal companion.” Your head feels too heavy for your body.

“Aww you’re the good type of lady. Can’t she come along with us Karkat? . . . Karkat?” Gamzee notices you fast enough to catch you as you black out and fall.

You wake up . . . you don’t know when or where. Your eyes flutter open to reveal that you are lying in a bed in a mess of a room; papers are everywhere where the clothes don’t cover the floor. You reach for the closest sheet, “Zazzerpan stared at his students with such a brooding look that his very students shuddered in their seats as if ice daemons touched their shoulders. ‘Failures. All of you,’ he shouts. Zazzerpan is so horrified by the performance of his students that he uses his magic to levitate the failures’ recent test papers. ‘Not one of you past. What do you have to say for yourself?’ One queer student, or perhaps brave, Herbert Pissybottom, stands up, ‘Sir what do you expect from us? We spend all day doing your training and we have no time to study! We understand how important it is to fight the battle, but we can’t do it all!’ Zazzerpan snarls, ‘I was promised perfection from all of you no matter what. You CANNOT back down now. There’s no one for you to even dare crawl back to.’ He crosses his arms staring Pissybottom down hard, ‘So how do you plan to make up this mockery of my lessons?’” What the fuck are you even reading that’s rotting your eyes?

“Oh!” a woman cries out. It’s the same one from the street. She quickly walks past the trash and snatches the paper away from you. She stares at you unfavorably, “How much did you read?”

“I-“

“It wasn’t finished!” she argues defensibly to no one. 

“What the fuck is your problem!? And where the fuck am I? Gamzee!” you call out hoping for assistance.

“Your friend had other plans so he left you in my care. I am Rose Lalonde and you are in my apartment. Gamzee helped me carry you over here as it was the closest location.”

“You didn’t call the hospital!?”

“I wanted to but your friend was skittish at the thought of the authorities getting involved. Any sort of authority it seemed.” That doesn’t surprise you.

“So now I’m at your apartment? How long have I been out?”

“Not long at all, about half an hour; certainly not enough time for you to dream.”

You stare at her furious, “What?”

She’s unfazed, “Your friend told me of your bad dreams Karkat.”

“I can’t believe he told you and ditched me so quickly.”

“To be fair I think he was worried that I would end up calling the hospital.”

You rub your eyes, “That fucking moron. Can I get some coffee here?”

“I’m afraid that coffee can’t help you with your problems.”

“What fucking problems!?”

“Tell me, did Jade or Kanaya ever tell you that I’m studying Psychology? Sure it’s not my major, but I find it highly stimulating.”

“Please tell me that you aren’t going to ask about my childhood or some shit. That is the stupidest ass-fuckery you could do right now.” You reach into your sweatshirt pocket for a cigarette and lighter.

She smiles, “Don’t worry, I won’t intrude on your childhood, if you don’t want me to. However I do have some questions for you and if you comply I can help you. Also my apartment is smoke-free.” Defeated, you return your items back into your pocket.

“Questions?” Rose moves closer to you and touches your face and checks his heartbeat.

“You haven’t said no yet.” You haven’t but it’s quite possible that that’s because you are exhausted. “How much sleep do you believe you get each night?” You try to rub out whatever horseshit is in your eyes right now.

“Ugh fuck. I don’t know. Five hours . . . if I’m lucky?”

Rose looks at you astonished, “That isn’t enough for you especially with your career. How long has it been like that?”

“Uh months ago but I would have more sleep back then. It’s just gotten worse.”

“What would you say your stress levels are?”

“I’m a fucking officer of the ass-fucking law. What do you think? My life is on the line almost every day.”

“Indeed. Tell me, are you single?”

Now you are staring at her freaking out, “Okay that’s it I’m leaving.” You try to get out of her bed.

“Please stay calm. I assure you that I am acting as your doctor and you as my patient. I’m asking only because research shows that people who live alone die early and they are afraid of dying alone.”

“Where in the grubshitting douchebagging rumpusfuck did you find that? I’m fine being alone! Being with others only fucks with your head.”

“Oh really? Vriska told me that you had a date last night, so how did that go?”

Grub damn that troll. She’s the one that arranged that nooksmasher of a date.

Last night . . .

You are sitting across one fuckpile of a troll, and by fuckpile you mean this ‘female’ looks like she’d been through a blender of makeup. She’s cutting her steak in the most obnoxious way possible and talking with her mouth full of potatoes. “So, you’re a cop? Shoot anybody?”

“We’re not encouraged to shoot people,” you answer bluntly. You pick at your . . . you don’t even want to know what you’re eating at this point because she has ruined your appetite. “So Kyrsta, what’s it like . . working?”

She looks up at you with her dark orange eyes, “I’m a surgeon.”

“Right and how do you know Vriska?”

“She’s a common visitor at the hospital.” On the last word you feel a bit of spit hit you just below your right eye. And you got dressed up for this.

Now . . .

“It didn’t work out.”

“I understand that ‘it didn’t work out’ has been a problem with you ever since your divorce. Is there no one that you thought of dating, or have been allured to?”

Jade comes to mind. “No.”

“You asked Vriska for the blind date, which must mean you want to move on?”

Jade has those beautiful eyes. “Yes, but I want someone that I like.”

“So who or what is your type?”

Jade has that annoying laugh that somehow makes you smile. “It would be better if I just stayed alone. I can’t even stay asleep one night, who would want to deal with a  
bilgespewer wiggler?”

“Karkat please, I’m here to help.”

“Let’s be serious here, you have a million better things to do than this.”

She looks at you earnestly, “Yes. But this is more important, and it can be beneficial to me.”

You stare at her confused, “How?”

“I said before that I’m taking Psychology, and I have a bit of an assignment.”

“I immediately regret everything I didn’t regret before.”

She shows you a soft smile, “Don’t worry, my professor has complete faith in me, and all I need is a test subject.”

“I still don’t understand what’s going on.”

“Karkat,” she puts a hand on her bed and looks you in the eye, “I think you’re a victim to PTSD: Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.”

“. . . What?”

“It’s sadly common for people who have faced traumatic and violent events. Gamzee told me of your previous dreams and I honestly believe that you have PTSD.”

You turn away, “So I’m crazy.”

“Not at all.”

“Then what am I?”

“You are in need of some help.”

“That’s pretty fucking corny.”

“But that doesn’t mean it’s not true.”

“Then what could you possibly need from me?”

“I’m writing a paper about PTSD and trolls. You see it’s quite fascinating how your species handled it before, but they didn’t understand what was going on. They just saw a problem and decided to fix it. On Alternia, every troll slept in a recuperacoon: a vessel containing soper slime. Trolls used their recuperacoon to assuage the bad dreams said to plague them every night. Don’t you see Karkat?” No. “Trolls had a warrior-like culture so they gained PTSD from their battles. Alternia medical scientists probably found this problem and used soper slime to ease every troll, but they also used it on children to get them used to it! And soon enough it became a traditional bedroom item! I bet most trolls forgot what nightmares were like. However, when trolls came to Earth they discovered the ease of the common bed and moved in to those, thus exposing them to PTSD!”

You sort of back away from the woman, “So that’s your thesis?”

“Yes! Isn’t it exciting?!”

“So you want me to use soper slime?”

“Absolutely!”

You furrow your eyebrows, “If you think I’m enough of a bulgejerk to eat soper slime then you’re-“

“Eat? Oh of course I don’t want you to eat it! If you consumed that material then your brain could be dangerously damaged.” 

“I know.”

“No, I recommended that every night before bed you rub some sopor slime on your forehead to allow direct access in the smallest amount possible.” She rubs the back of her head nonchalantly, “Then if you could just give me the results that would be splendid.”

“And where do you expect me to get slime?”

She gets up and opens a nearby drawer and pulls out a plastic container, “I have some with me.”

Your eyes widened, “What nooksucking bitchfucker gave you that!?”

“Gamzee. He willingly sold it to me.”

“Idiot.” You scratch around your horns, “And you just expect me, an officer, to use a practically illegal substance?”

“It’s only truly illegal to consume, besides you’re fine as long as you have a prescription.”

“And what kind of magical nookwhiffing doctor would willingly prescript that?”

“My professor has the form ready.”

You are getting very suspicious of this whole clusterfuck, not that you weren’t before. “What kind of doctor is he?”

“He’s-“

“No wait. Who is he or she or whatever?”

“My professor is Dr. Scratch.” The very name chills your bones.

“No.”

“I’m sorry?”

“I don’t want anything to do with him.”

“But you need help!”

“I don’t want to owe him anything.”

“I promise that you’ll remain anonymous. I’m the one that’ll owe him.”

You can’t believe this girl, “I don’t think I want you to owe him either.”

She smirks, “I wouldn’t worry about that, I can handle myself. You on the other hand need serious help, and as your psychologist I highly recommend you take your medicine.”

“You idiot! This isn’t playtime! You can’t trust that creep over anything!”

“I know.”

“What? You do?”

“Yes, but I know what I am doing; especially now.” Rose pushes the slime to you. “I need to leave now, but I recommend you try to get some real sleep and that you use the slime. Don’t worry, I trust you not to steal anything, but I don’t trust you to walk out with such little energy. But if you could just write down if it worked or perhaps a phone number when you wake up, that would be tremendous. Sweet dreams,” and she exits the room.

You pick up the container and open the lid, the slime has a distinct scent not too favorable but not too distracting. Handing your trust into a stranger, you lightly apply the slime onto your forehead; its cool touch reminds you of the time Jade kissed your forehead. You immediately feel an ease to your head, and you lower yourself back onto the bed.

A familiar voice seems to sing to you, “Loving child, sweet child, please stay with me. Special child, forever child, She shall never make you leave.” 

You’re almost definitely positive that is the same voice and song your mother used.


	3. Nepeta

You watch as your old friend devours your gift cupcake in front of you. You do your best to hide the satisfaction, but the corners of your lips turn up. You can feel the eyes of your coworkers on you as they watch your friend in amazement.

“Ignore them,” you tell yourself. “They don’t matter. Aradia does.”

Your name is Nepeta Leijon and you are attempting to save the life of a friend. 

The friend is Aradia Megido, a troll that you’ve connected with since your early years of school. Truth is you only started out as friends as a bridge for her and your moirail Equius, but you believe that you grew closer to a real friendship. But now you think she is losing herself and is pushing everyone away, so you’re doing all that you can to help her.

You know that she’s not eating, and you heard the rumors from the makeup department about how the trolls there have to cover up her scars that never seem to fade. You’re honestly worried for Aradia.

She finished her cupcake and complimented you so you leave her alone but wait around the corner. You did lie to her when you told her it was an anniversary gift, but she didn’t notice. Aradia soon leaves for what you can presume to be the bathroom; you hope she keeps the cupcake down. 

With a frown on your face you return to your desk to retrieve your purse. You quickly and quietly exit outside for some privacy. You bring up a number on your phone, “Chief Zahhak speaking,” the other line answers.

“Very funny Equius! You know it’s me!”

“I’m in a meeting right now.”

“Oh.” You’ve been told not to call your moirail because he likes to look all professional and junk for his officers. He doesn’t want to break the illusion. “Well I have something to talk to you about that’s important.” You hear him sigh and dismiss someone out of his office.

“Is something wrong?”

“No, well maybe. Or maybe not!”

You can hear him sigh, “Please proceed Nepeta, I am quite busy today.” 

“Okay here it is: I got Aradia to eat a cupcake!”

His response is not what you expected, “Nepeta I told you to respect her wishes and leave her be.”

“But you don’t see her everyday like I do Equius! She’s sick or something. We have to-”

“Nepeta that’s enough!” You swallow the words back down. “Our interference could only make things worse. She is a grown troll and can handle herself.” You can hear him straining against himself, “Please Nepeta, let her go, for her sake more than mine.” 

Tears start to swell up in your eyes, “Okay Equius.” You hate it when he’s mad at you.

“I’ll speak to you later.” And he hangs up. 

You lean against the brick wall and slide down crying. This sense of defeat pains you to your heart. You were told, and you tell others, that love can triumph anything; that there’s always a brighter tomorrow, but you are starting to think that that is a little troll’s dream. Sure, you didn’t expect Aradia and Equius to come running back to each other in a field of daisies, but you want them to be happy. It’s painfully obvious to you that they’re miserable alone, and Equius refuses to let you help. He even scared you a little when you kept pursuing the idea of having the two on your show. 

Love. It’s never what anyone could ever picture it, is it? You once thought love could save your marriage, but it was just a quickly extinguished flame. Maybe if you didn’t treat relationships so brashly then you wouldn’t get hurt so bad. You practically wear your heart on your chest, and it can hurt when your friends hurt. 

You wipe the tears away, there’s no need to stand here sitting; maybe one day you’ll find a way to help Aradia, but that’s not today you suppose. 

You pick up your purse off the floor and search your make up; with haste you remove any sign of tears from your face. When you are turning your green blush grey you wonder if hiding your feelings is any different than what Aradia is doing. It doesn’t matter. You have to move on.

With time to spend, you prepare for the segment that would be later in the day before you head out for lunch. You have a date with someone very special.

Moving towards a diner that you know and love, you meet up with an old friend. “Gamzee!” You wave from the outside. He sees you from the stove and waves with a spatula in his hand, thus spraying the customers with hot grease. They yell at him and he awkwardly apologizes. You walk in.

“Ah hey Sista,” He hugs you with a multi-stained apron pressing against your outfit. 

You laugh and hug tightly back, “It’s been awhile!”

He stares at you alarmed, “Shit Nep, has it been that motherfucking long?”

“Well I count a couple of weeks as long. I missed you!”

“Aww I missed the shit out of you too.” 

You pull back, “So when will you be ready to go?”

“Now I guess.” He pulls off his apron and throws it on top of the stove. You quickly remove it.

You place the apron safely on top of a pile of towels, “Are you sure? Do you have someone to run this place while we’re out?” 

“Oh yeah that motherfucking reminds me,” he looks behind you, “Hey Bilteh, you’ve got the day off! Go fuck some tits for me!” Gamzee looks back at you, “He’s going to be a real hero one day. I can see it now, him saving some bitches from a burning building or something.” You look around to see the troll and find Bilteh rolling his eyes as he prepares to leave.

“So who is going to run the restaurant again?”

“No one, I run the motherfucker so it can close.”

“But it’s lunch time Gamzee!”

“Fuuuck yeah! And I’m pretty hungry for some food that makes my mouth water like in those toons.” He says all of this confused wondering why you’d even question.

“Gamzee you’re going to close the diner during lunch?”

“Yup. I’m the boss.”

You frown a little, ‘What is Karkat going to do about you,’ you ponder. “Alright then!” you throw your hands up defeated. 

Gamzee picks up a frying pan and starts bashing his spatula onto it, “Okay motherfuckers!” he yells at the customers still eating. “Munchy time is officially over, so pull out of the mother’s your fuckin’! Leave money, or not. Fuck bros, just scramble like eggs.”

A man sitting with a half-eaten sandwich looks up at Gamzee angrily, “Why should I have to leave before finishing? I only get my lunch break so long, asshole.”

“Hahaha,” your friend laughs, but then he suddenly slams his hands on the table and stares at the man in the eyes with very little distance between them. “I’m not going to ask again you motherfucker.” You can’t see Gamzee’s face, but you can tell that the man is terrified by the way he trembles. The customer quickly leaves his seat in a hurry and everyone else follows. 

You walk up to the purple blood, “Gamzee? Are you alright?” You place a hand on his shoulder concerned, “I don’t know if I’ve ever seen you like that.”

He finally raises himself away from the table and tenderly grasps your hand, “Ah I’m sorry sis, I’ve had the worst headaches lately.”

“A headache?” No small headache could cause that from the most loveable guy you know. “Do you know what’s causing it? Have you talked to Karkat about it?”

Gamzee gives your hand a quick squeeze before letting it fall away, “Actually I haven’t yet sis. Karkat and I haven’t had the good ‘talks’ in a while. We’re getting along fine I guess, fuck better than anyone! But Karkat’s been in the dumps lately.” He lowers his head ashamed, “I’m a shitty moirail.”

“No you are not!” You raise his head up, “You are a wonderful moirail and Karkat is lucky to have you.”

“If I’m so great then why did you and Karkat break up?”

You sigh, this has been a problem with Gamzee since the divorce. The troll practically acted like your child like in those human tv shows, and now he probably thinks he’s the problem just like in those human tv shows. You always told Gamzee that tv wasn’t good for him. “Gamzee, I don’t want you ever to think it was your fault, or try to fix it. What’s done is done. It wasn’t your fault.” 

Gamzee doesn’t catch on that you’re talking to him like a single sweep old. “You really think so? But then whose fault was it?”

“Gamzee you know what happened,” you respond frowning. 

“But I want your opinion.”

You huff out a little pout on your face, you do have a few choice words on the matter, but this isn’t about you. “Hey, I thought we were going to hang out? Not spend our day in the cave like the rain is out!” Gamzee gives a little shrug on his shoulders, “Come on Gamzee!” You back away a little and hunch over a bit, “Nepeta urges her lion pal to join her on the hunt for lunch! Will he join her?”

Not even Grumpy Gamzee can keep a smile off of his face, “Ah Sis, you know I want to be a sea goat.”

“Nepeta smirks at the thought! Surely she would only eat something from the sea, especially if it was part tasty goat! Besides, her friend has the most beautiful mane!”

Gamzee stretches out his arms to reenact a yawn, “Grrr. Food. Hungry. Now. Come my motherfucker ally!”

Well he certainly isn’t the best roleplayer, but he somehow manages to be a favorite. 

After a short lunch, with an embarrassing scene of devouring udder-beast meat, you remind Gamzee of your quick stop, “I swear it won’t take long, then we can hang out some more!” Your companion is most definitely fine with whatever stop. “So how was your morning?” you question as you’re walking down a street. 

He starts to look uncomfortable again, “Well I had some motherfucking bro time with Karkat.”

You try not to notice his behavior, “That’s nice.” You look up at your friend and you only want to ask what’s wrong, but you promised long ago that you’d leave Karkat’s personal life alone; even if Gamzee needed you. It’s just healthier for everyone, especially Gamzee, but you can’t help but feel the pain in your heart. 

The two of you stop at a small building in the city; Gamzee recognizes the area with a little excitement and surprise, “Sis I didn’t know we were going here!”

You giggle, “It’s just a pet store Gamzee. Don’t worry I only need supplies.”

He walks in first, “Don’t worry Sis, I love this place.” You didn’t think that Gamzee would actually want to come here, although he is pretty unpredictable.

The owner of the pet store is busy feeding the birds, but once he hears the door’s bell ring and sees you he waves and finishes his chore quickly to greet you. “Nepeta! It’s great to see you again. Back for the usual?”

“Hi Tavros! Yes Sugar just eats so much! Ooo and I think she’ll need a new collar.”

He gauzily grins at you, “If you don’t mind me saying, and I’m sorry if I insult you, but it isn’t healthy to feed so much to one cat.”

“I suppose, but that means there is so much more to love.” you answer back staring into those savory chocolate eyes of his.

“You could always get another cat,” he suggests hardly caring what he’s even saying.

“Oh I shouldn’t! I would then be on my way to turning into a lonely cat lady!”

Tavros’s eyes start to droop in the sweetest way, “You would be the most beautiful cat lady ever.”

You tilt your head, “Didn’t you once tell me that you used to be allergic to cats?”

“Indeed, but I promise you that that is not a problem.” He lightly rubs his hand on your cheek.

You start to sigh into the hand before you are interrupted, “Uh are you okay, Sis?”

You and Tavros jump away from each other, you can feel the hot green blush on your cheeks. “Gamzee!” you completely forgot that he was here.

And it seems Tavros didn’t even notice him, “Oh uh hey um Gamzee.” For whatever reason Tavros doesn’t seem all that pleased. 

Gamzee wraps his arm around Tavros’s shoulder, “Well hey there Tavros my good bro, how’s a motherfucker like you getting along?”

Tavros uses his wheelchair to swivel away from the other troll, “I’m uh great. Nepeta,” he looks at you desperately, “I’ll need your help getting the cat food out of the supplies.”

“Sure thing,” you answer.

“I’ll help too!” Gamzee volunteers. 

“No that’s okay!” Tavros denies. “You can stay here and keep the animals company.” He urges you to the backroom filled with inventory and supplies.

“What’s wrong?”

Tavros starts to rub his shoulders uncomfortably, “I didn’t realize that you two knew each other. Oh that’s going to make it tough.”

You kneel down to look him in the eye, “What’s wrong?”

“I-I-I,” he tries to choke out his explanation, “I’ve been trying to avoid Gamzee because I know he has this crush on me.”

“Oh!” you stand up surprised and a bit perplexed. “How long . . .?”

“Since he first met me, I guess. He was a really great friend before he made it painfully obvious that he likes me. He even bought that turtle as an excuse to keep seeing me. I know a turtle doesn’t need a litter,” he says begrudgingly.

You almost giggle, “Tavros, I face these misconceptions all the time! What made you think Gamzee liked you?”

“He uh, um he said he wanted t-to make out with me?”

Your face feels like it was smashed in to form a permanent frown, “Oh.”

Tavros sighs, “Maybe I should just tell him about us.”

You remember what Tavros was like when you first met him, you were recently divorced. You soon after bought a cat to keep you company, and the shy troll was so sweet to you that he kept you comfortable. However as you continued to visit for supplies you both became close friends, but you never realized that he liked you or that you liked him; your heart was still too tattered to open up again. 

But one day you decided to skip out buying cat food when you saw Vriska in the store, and to make it worse poor Tavros was in a wheelchair! You immediately wanted to rush in there and talk to him, but Vriska’s presence worried you because you didn’t know why he was there. You didn’t know much about Vriska’s recent activities except that she was working with your Ex. You thought that the two trolls were together.

You were so angry you didn’t see him for over a week, but as you moped around you began to realize why seeing him around Vriska made you so mad. And after you were done being a doopey moopey you went to see him to apologize. Tavros was just so happy to see you again and . . . and . . . and he became much more bolder since you last saw him that he asked you out. 

The rest is self-explanatory. “No,” you finally answer. You recognize that Tavros can figuratively stand on his own and tell Gamzee to back off, but . . . “Please, I know Gamzee and he’s going through a rough time. I mentioned before to him that I was with someone, but I don’t want to hurt him. He wouldn’t assault you or anything I promise! He’s the sweetest guy. Just let him dream or . . .”

You can’t really read Tavros’s expression at the moment, “He means that much to you?”

“Yes,” you nod. 

Tavros sighs, “I’m sure that he’ll get over it, maybe you can get him to meet someone else?”

You smile so hard your cheeks hurt, “Thank you! Oh thank you Tavros!” You lean over to hug him and kiss him.

Hours past and you are back at the television station sitting at your red, comfortable chair waiting for your segment to start. It’s late and you just want it to be over so you can go meet Tavros again. You do feel sorry for Gamzee, but you don’t want him hurt. It may be selfish that you don’t want him to leave you; actually, it probably is selfish for you. 

The lights turn off around you as you hear one of the anchor trolls announce you, “And it’s now that special time of the week when we bring back our wonderful troll who can make love appear out of anywhere.” But there is a time when you want what you want after giving so much up. “Nepeta Leijon as our Heart Savior!” The lights turn on around you and you give a big smile for the audience. People clap for you and the people watching you pay more attention than they should; none of them realize that you hate yourself right now.


	4. Kanaya

There are many things that you’ve enjoyed since you’ve first lived in Skaia. The slight breeze that passes, the windows that display a variety of décor, and the social energy the city generates with each passing second. It’s far superior to your hatchplace.

However there is one problem that you do not care for, the people. And right now there is a man talking to his cell phone using vile words and is altogether disrupting your afternoon. 

You were planning to walk past him until you got close enough to recognize him, and he recognized you. “Kanaya?”

Your name is Kanaya Maryam and you are being stopped in the middle of the sidewalk by a man wearing sunglasses during overcast. 

“Hello Mr. Strider.”

“Kanaya, no one calls me that.”

You give an embarrassed laugh, “Ha, oh of course.” You are still adjusting to first name bases with people, but to be fair to yourself you are surprised to see him. “You were quite . . surprising a minute ago.”

The man remembers the phone still in his hand and is still in the middle of a call, “Could you wait one second? I’ll get rid of them.” Actually you weren’t planning to spend much more time with Mr. Strider-Oh there he goes. “Hey guys, I’m sorry that she’s not cooperating. Why don’t you poor her some apple juice or that shit coffee you drink and have a little heart-to-heart. I’m sure that she’ll learn to understand and then you can get to work.” He ends the call.

You are . . . impressed, “That was almost professional, Dave.”

The blank expression continues, “What? Oh sure, I’m positive that everything will go according to plan so that they can go to a five-year-old’s birthday party to eat cake and beat up a donkey. Like what the fuck donkey? Why are you holding out on the kids like a goddamn asshole?”

“. . . You’re being insincere. Rose told me that you use this as a wall to keep yourself safe.” You really shouldn’t have mentioned that.

“Well here’s a little tip of wisdom, Rose knows shit. Don’t ever listen to her psychology babble.”

“Then why did you mislead the person on the phone?”

“They wouldn’t listen to me anyways. I told them before to treat Tiyrea like a princess, but no. They forgot to have flowers ready for her. My latest project is now going to be delayed until I get back tomorrow to set things straight.” You try your best to forget that Strider directs pornography. You see him notice your uneasiness, “Let me guess, you want to see it so far?”

You blush, “What!? No that’s not necessary at all. I thank you-“

“No need to thank me,” He interrupts, “I’ll admit that it isn’t a masterpiece yet, but it’ll do the job.”

“No, I promise you that is not necessary!”

“Let’s see, I should have a clip on my phone . . .” He begins to search through the mobile device.

“Mr. Strider there are children around!” You feel the heat of your blush covering your face.

You believe that he’s looking harder because of what you addressed him as, “No worries, they should be in school.”

“School is over for the day!” At this point you are saying anything to make him stop.

“I’d say it’s time for an afterschool special then.” He shows you the screen of his phone and you watch embarrassed and perplexed as two trolls and a human . . . You don’t believe your body could bend- Why is she grunting so much? Oh my! 

Dave quickly shuts it off, “I shouldn’t show you too much, I don’t want you to go right here.”

“Mr. Strider!” you say in a slightly raised tone, “I would like it very much if you never did that again!”

“Holy shit Kanaya. Cool you jets. I don’t want you to scare the children.”

You sigh defeated.

“Dave!” you hear a man across the street cry out. You both turn around to find a thirty-some year old man with a disgustingly stained, green t-shirt waving to the man standing next to you. He starts to cross the street before a White woman pulls him back.

“Haha, oh Andrew,” Strider laughs to himself, “The son I never had but I might as well.”

You begin to recognize the man you barely know, “Does Ms. Paint need assistance?”

“No, I’m sure she’s fine.” You look back to find Mr. Hussie running around in a circle causing a crowd to form. 

“I feel bad for him,” you accidently admit out loud. Strider looks at you curious. 

“Why do you feel bad for him?”

The blush is going to reappear any second, “Well Rose told me that Andrew has schizophrenia.”

Strider allows a pout of disappointment to appear, “Rose told you that. Didn’t you listen to me when I told you Rose knows shit?”

“So Andrew doesn’t-?”

“Of course he doesn’t! The guy was just an idiot who made idiot mistakes. He thought that radiation would make good music so he visited a radioactive, abandoned city from The First War. Poor man never recovered.”

“Oh. I’m sorry Dave.”

“I’m fine. I just hate it when people feel bad for Andrew.” You look back at the mentioned human and find him stealing hats from bystanders. “He’s a good guy. He only got punished for following his dream.” A part of you wants to ask why Rose told you otherwise about Mr. Hussie, or why she pursues Psychology if she is poor at it, but the greater part knows better than to linger this conversation. 

“Rose told me that you wanted to meet up with her later today,” Dave states.

“That’s correct.”

“So what are you going to do? Tell her you love her so you can make out?”

The blush is horrible today as it consumes your face, “I-I-“

Dave cocks an eye in your direction, “Wait, you’re actually going to do that?”

You take a deep breath to calm down, “Yes. Yes I am.” If you’re going to confirm your feelings you should get used to it. 

“Shit Kanaya,” he shakes his head.

You begin to worry, “You-You do not approve?” 

“Look, I don’t give a single fuck if you two get off together. But I don’t like my friends pairing off constantly.”

“Perhaps we are maturing.”

He shakes his head, “Perhaps everyone is too horny.”

“Are you alright?”

“Whatever. You don’t want to keep her waiting.” In honesty, you have plenty of time, but you’d rather leave.

“Indeed. Goodbye Dave.”

“Yeah, good luck I guess.” And you leave him watching Andrew do a tap dance while taking photos with a camera he apparently stole from another bystander. 

It doesn’t take you long to reach the club where you plan to meet up with Rose; it’s actually the club where you and her both became friends, you at least find it poetic. 

You take a temporary seat at the bar and order a drink to help pass the time, and you pull out a book so no one will bother you. You have almost an hour till you expect Rose to arrive; you prefer to have as much time to prepare as possible. You take a small sip of your beverage as you continue to plan out the possible consequences that may occur after you reveal your feelings to Rose. Your face blushes once again as you remember the video Dave showed you. Wonderful, now you’re distracted thinking of Rose like . . . You aren’t even expecting such activities to occur tonight!

However, you might concede such to happen if the night turns out favorably. 

You are trying to stay on the positive side at the moment, you spent too long tiptoeing around people you were attracted to and it’s time you be true. 

You easily find Rose when she arrives; it’s still too early for the club to be packed. You tilt your head towards a booth and walk there yourself with your mostly filled drink. You wait as she sits down across from you, “Is that a new book?” she asks.

“Oh,” you look your book over, a romance novel. “Yes, but I haven’t had much time to read it yet.”

She hums to herself interested, “I’m intrigued by the location.” You can feel her eyes scanning you as she analyzes you.

But according to Dave she doesn’t really know what she’s doing so that calms you. “It brings back good memories, right?”

“Indeed, for instance the ones of you drunk.”

You laugh a little at that memory, you certainly lost yourself then. “I did, but right now I need to ask you something very important.”

“Oh no,” Rose responds smiling, “Are you secretly an undercover agent that needs me to help save the world? Tell me if I’m right.”

“No Rose, I need you to be serious.” You grasp her hand which seems to surprise her. Be direct, “Rose, I have red feelings for you, and I would like to go on a date with you, tonight if possible.”

Whatever Rose was expecting it certainly was not that. She stares at you amazed for an awkward about of time, but you keep yourself steady. Give her time at let her think the situation through, like she always does.

However what Rose does next was definitely not thought out; she reaches for your drink with her free hand and chugs the liquid down her throat. You are too horrified to stop her.

When she is done, Rose looks perplexed at the liquid, “This-This is nonalcoholic.” 

You break away from her and snatch the glass back, “You tried to get drunk!?”

“Kanaya no-“

“You hate drinking, but you thought you needed it to turn me down?” Rose looks down ashamed. “What sort of plan was that? To insult me?”

“Kanaya it’s not like that.”

“Then what is it like? Don’t try to tell me you were drinking out of celebration!”

Rose is too upset to look you in the eyes, “No. We can’t date. Everything is too complicated right now.”

You leave your seat, “Rose, you’re the only thing that’s making this complicated. I thought that you were my friend.”

“Kanaya I am your friend!”

“No. A friend would respect my feelings and turn me down politely.” You were prepared for that, but not for this. You walk away from her with no more words said. 

You’ve been wandering Skaia for hours now with no intention of what to do next. Sure you could go home, but you don’t desire to slump there till you have to work; mostly you are looking for a distraction at the moment, which is currently ineffective. 

You wished the whole event went better, that even if Rose denied you you would accept that and continue to be her friend. You though she was capable of this, but if you got this wrong and the fact that she mislead you about Andrew, what do you know about her?

That was actually what you hoped to fix by dating her.

Are you better without her? No, you’re back to the way you were before when Vriska constantly ignored your affections. Meek. At least that time you recovered quickly, you never handled rejection well.

You still remember when you practiced being a Grub Caretaker, you spent hours watching the adults and assisting them in any way you could. You never had the chance to venture off to find a lusus like the other trolls because your lusus was always there with you. The Mother Grub always encouraged you when you made a mess of a simple task; she’d dry off your tears and send you off for redemption. But not even she could help you when you failed the exam, and you were the only one to do so of your group. A test made so that every jade-blood troll could succeed after simple training, but you couldn’t even accomplish such. It was in your blood but you failed and were forced into exile as you had no other purpose in the Caverns. 

And so you ended up in Skaia. You had no home, no lusus, and no plan. You always tried to keep things right afterwards, fix the problems of other trolls. You even convince yourself that you were a Caretaker for the adults. But you always seem to fail when it comes to helping yourself. 

At least you stood up for yourself this time. . . Perhaps you were too harsh.

“Kanaya?” Some else appears to recognize you in your depressed state. You look up to see Mr. Vantas walking over to you. He looks worried, “Are you okay?”

“Oh, good evening Mr. Vantas. I’m fine, yourself?”

The troll rolls his eyes and loops his arm with yours, “Come on, I’m going to take you home before I regret anything.” And with surprising strength he is able to pull you along.

“You don’t have to do that.” He doesn’t respond to that. You wipe under your eyes and find your mascara running.

“So what fucked up your day?” Mr. Vantas asks looking ahead.

You sigh, “I told someone that I was red for them and was rejected,” you might as well talk to him about it; he was married to a relationship counselor.

“Yeah I can see that fucking with your head. Do I know who it was?”

“I’d rather not say.” You pull away, “You really don’t need to do this. You surely have something better you need to do.”

He looks at you profound, “Well shit’s on you because I really don’t.” Mr. Vantas continues to walk ahead and you follow.

“I-I’m just tired of being alone. Of feeling like a failure.”

“Well I’d hate to sound corney, Kanaya, but you’re not alone. I’m here, Jade’s there for you and she’ll drag along Vriska. And I’m sure Sollux will suffer through anything if he can handle my whining. And what about that woman you hang out with with the girls?” You don’t respond but you loop your arm back with his appreciative. 

“I’m horrible company.”

“Well I’m no better so it sucks to be us.”

You smile and droop your eyes, sometimes you wish Mr. Vantas was you moirail, but you couldn’t split him up with Gamzee. Hopefully Gamzee isn’t the jealous type and he won’t mind if you try to find peace with your friend.

You look down on Karkat almost admirably until you notice something at his hairline, “Mr. Vantas, what is this?” You use a single finger to wipe it off and show it to the troll who gets annoyed. 

“Hmm,” he grumbles, “it’s nothing to worry about. I just missed a spot.” You flick the strange substance off and continue to walk with him in tow. “Kanaya,” he interrupts the silence, “I can trust Rose right? Or can I trust her to handle herself?”

Your heels click across the pavement as you think how to respond until you finally answer, “I wish I knew, Mr. Vantas.”


	5. Jade

You stand in front of your bathroom mirror applying the last touches of makeup. Once finished you check the time: six forty-three, you better hurry if you want to be ready on time.

You crack the bathroom door open to the hall, “Vriska! Are you almost ready?”

“Um sure.” You cover your semi-naked body as you dash across the room to quickly put on your dress. It’s gotten really cold, but your roommate is insistent to have a small heating bill.

Your name is Jade Harley and you are preparing for a party that your moirail Vriska is kind enough to accompany. 

You slip your dress on but have trouble zipping up the back, “Vriska! Could you help me here?”

“Yeah hold on,” you see Vriska walk in wearing an over-shirt. 

“What-You told me you were almost ready!”

Your roommate moves behind you to zip up your dress, “Relax, it takes me like no time to get ready.”

“Then why can’t you be ready now!?” You dress is finally zipped up so you turn around to look her in the face disappointed.

“I’m in no rush and we have plenty of time.”

You point your finger to the bathroom, “Get ready now! You’re horrible at being on time!” Vriska groans but obeys you, and you follow behind to help.

As you brush her wild hair, Vriska questions you, “So why are you freaking out so much about this party?”

“I don’t know,” you say sighing. “Richard is really sweet for inviting me to this huge club party, but I guess I’m nervous about the impression I’ll make. I don’t usually go to such big parties filled with people I don’t know . . .”

“Blugh wubbfh, Ibbe embbrrabbse mebelb bore bobue,” she responds in the middle of brushing her teeth. You giggle and shake your head as Vriska spits to retry, “So don’t worry, I’ll embarrass myself for you.”

“Hehe, I’m sure I can count on you.”

“Yeah well if you get bored you can always talk to me.”

You work on a knot in her hair, “You sure you won’t get too drunk?”

“Whaaaaaaaat!? Come on, you know me! I’m waaaaaaaay more entertaining when I’m drunk.”

“Haha Vriska, at least try to stay mostly sober tonight, for me?”

She sticks her tongue out at the mirror, “Bluh.” 

You back off, “Finish up while I gather my purse.” 

In a few minutes Vriska walks into the kitchen finally dressed, “What are you doing?” you ask.

“I’m hungry, do you think I could get a sandwich before Richard gets here?” Your boyfriend is picking the two of you up. 

“No! This is why I told you to eat earlier, besides there’ll be food there.”

Vriska pouts to herself and snatches a box of crackers to snack on, “So why kind of party is this?”

“An important rapper from the Capital is coming over. I don’t really know,” you admit, “Richard seemed really thrilled about it. I think we’re lucky to even go.”

“Ugh, but why do we have to go soooooooo early!” she complains while shoving crackers in her mouth.

Despite her complaints, you smile, “Well if we want to go at all we go now!” You hear a buzz sound, “Okay that’s Richard, let’s go!”

Later inside of a club in Downtown Skaia, you and Vriska are finally walking around a quickly growing party. Music is at highest volume, people are stomping their feet on the ground, and the rest are drinking for the mood. You and Vriska immediately head to the bar.

“Hello ladies,” a sleek man greets, “What can I get you this fine evening? And might I say you miss,” he looks at you, “are looking exquisite today. I’ll even give you the first drink on me. For a kiss.”

You giggle in slight embarrassment, but bend over the counter to kiss your boyfriend, “I’ll have a Long Island Ice Tea.” Richard nods and looks over at Vriska.

Your moirail rolls her eyes amused, “What do you have on tap?”

“Don’t worry Vriska, I got you covered,” he assures as he prepares the drinks. 

Vriska immediately sips hers and is satisfied, “Another excellent choice.” She looks over at you, “I just loooooooove your boyfriend.”

You smile as you drink, “I better watch out.” 

Richard returns to you as soon as he has a moment of spare time, “So don’t forget to tell me when you’re leaving. And don’t forget to enjoy yourselves.”

“I won’t,” you and Vriska have no intention of staying, or getting crazy drunk, since the two of you have work tomorrow. With both drinks finished, Vriska pulls you away to the dance floor.

The two of you spend almost hours dancing and drinking together. It’s a good thing that you both know each other’s alcohol tolerance, or you might not know when to stop. 

You were inseparable until, “I have to pee,” Vriska tell you at the end of a song.

“Oh, do you want me to go with?” Your troll friend pats you on the shoulder and leaves you behind. 

With the next song starting up you didn’t know what to do, so you tried to dance alone but with no one to be with, it was awkward and suffocating. Vriska knew how to keep others away to allow you breathing room. 

And Richard was too busy for you to talk to, so you ended up walking out the back door for a smoking break. Lighting a cigarette seemed to calm your mind and your nerves; why didn’t you just do this before?

You close your eyes almost ready to sleep before someone starts to sniff your hair, “Ah shit Jade, what kind of wicked shampoo do you use?” You instantly turn your head around to look at the hair sniffer.

“Gamzee?” You pull your hair out of his hands. “What are-Why are-Are you high?”

He pets your hair like you’re Bec all while giggling, “I’m pretty motherfucking sure I am.” His long fingers ranking across your skull makes your skin tremble. 

You back about a foot away, “Okay well I think I should be going now.” You try to pass him to get to the door but he pulls you in close.

“Ah Jade, what am I going to do about Karbro? He’s all sad and mopey and he-“ Gamzee looks at you before chuckling. “Just make sure not to tell him about this, he doesn’t like when I’m reaching the motherfucking sky. Or any cops.”

You frown, “Gamzee, I’m a police officer.”

He stares at you again for a good twenty seconds before he bursts out laughing, “Hey Jade?”

His breath enters your noise and you about gag, “Ugh, yes?”

Again he waits a while before he- “Boop.” He pokes at your nose. 

Gamzee continues his daze look until someone from behind pulls him back by the hair. “I think that’s enough.” You find out that your savior is Vriska. She twists his arm behind his back and swirls around to push him back into the club. Her satisfied grin quickly disappears as she tends you, “You okay? I’m sorry it took me so long, fucking assholes and no directions in this dump.”

“I’m fine.” You are not, and Vriska can tell. You are tense again so you start another smoke. 

Vriska watches as you try to light the cigarette as you have hundreds of times before, but this time your arms are trembling too much. “Oh Jade,” she pulls you into her arms for a quick hug. “This really isn’t your scene, is it?”

“I-I think I’m ready to go home.”

“Alright.”

“And why don’t we go watch a movie?” you suggest.

Vriska shrugs, “Sure, I read about this movie that I’m interested in.”

“Great, I’ll just need to say goodbye to Richard.”

Your moirail places a hand on your shoulder, “Don’t worry, I can tell him you’re not feeling good.” Vriska always seems to know what you want when you truly need it.

Soon enough you are back at your apartment preparing for a movie: movie is the code word the two of you use to request a ‘feelings session.’ You do watch a movie together, usually a low-rated one that Vriska enjoys more than you, and afterwards you talk about the movie while moving onto feelings in a natural way. It’s a system that has worked out the best for both of you. Both one of you have never had a moirail before, and you both are horrible at confronting each other on what’s on each other’s mind. For instance, you know that something’s on Vriska’s mind, just as she knows you, but she’ll only push you away if you try to force her to tell. 

So as Vriska readies the movie, you bring forth the popcorn and ice cream ready for whatever emotions are too come. 

The movie was about girls in high school, but looked more like college graduates, having a slumber party until a serial killer comes to murder them all. The pizza guy was their savior. 

As the credits rolled by, Vriska was already criticizing, “Grub! Those girls are so stupid?! Don’t schools teach how to put killers in a headlock? I would have ended that guy when he first came by!” She wakes Bec who was sleeping on the floor in front of the couch that both of you are using.

“So wait, the killer was the girl’s dad?” You pet Bec to settle him down.

“Oh my Grub Jade! You have the woooooooorst time following along!” You do, but you also know Vriska loves explaining it to you. “The girl who survived at the end only survived because her dad was divorced and wanted to be with his daughter. So for whatever fucking reason he thought it would be a good idea to gruesomely murder his girl’s friends and to kidnap her. Then the real gem is the pizza guy coming along and running him over with his car. The girl and pizza guy start to make out after killing her dad! They probably fucked too! 

“So did you like it?”

“I thought it was fucking incredible!” 

“I’ll never understand how two people could just want to be together that quickly.”

“What like love at first sight? Isn’t that what happened to you and Richard?”

“What? No! We met and flirt and have dated! I don’t even love him!”

Vriska looks at you disturbed, “Okay calm down Jade.”

You take a deep breath, “You’re right, I’m sorry. I-I-I just think I need to break up with him.”

“You do?”

“Yeah, I don’t feel like we’ve connected like we used to. I don’t like him like I used to. And the other day he tried to talk about marriage. He knows not now but . . .”

“You really don’t want to get married.”

You shake your hands trying to grasp the concept, “I don’t get the point! I’d rather just be with a guy and that’s it. Why does it have to happen to everyone?” You look back at Vriska, “I mean, I think it’s great that you want to marry John, but it’s not for me.”

Vriska smirks, “Jade I’m not trying to marry you. You can do what you want, but are you sure you want to break up with Richard over it?”

“It’s over a lot of stuff. I’m going to call him in the morning to tell him.”

“Hmm, and I thought we’d agree that he was perfect?”

“I know, but something is missing. Something that can convince me, you know, to trust him.” 

Vriska reaches for the ice cream carton, “Who have you told besides me?”

“I’ve kept it undercover for so long if I tell some people I could lose everything. I mean, I told Karkat.”

She digs at the ice cream, “Yuck, well don’t go fucking him.”

You stare at her bewildered as she stuffs her face.

“What are you staring at?”

“I never thought about that before.”

Vriska looks like she’ll be sick, “Eww don’t let that get in your brain.” 

“Hey Vriska?”

“What!?” she says shoving as much ice cream into her mouth as she can to the purpose of avoiding the subject.

“What if . . . What if I like that idea?”

“Ugh!” she starts to smack her forehead, “Damnit why don’t I get a brain freeze already?!”

“It’s stupid I know. I doubt Karkat could ever like me, and sometimes I think he thinks of me as a child still. But other times . . .”

Vriska moans, “Jade you know I of all people would support inter-species relationships, but with him?”

“Well you gave me the idea!”

“Okay that’s it!” She stands up, “I don’t know if I can talk to you when you’re getting . . . hot over him.”

You blush and pull yourself into a ball, “I’m not!”

“Jade,” she sighs as she sits back down to you, “It’s been a long night. You’re tired, I’m tired. Why don’t you sleep and think about it tomorrow. And you know I’ll support you no matter what you decide, even if it’s being horny over Karkat.” 

A few hours later, you are at the edge of sleep when someone walks into your room, “Jade?”

It’s Vriska, “What are you doing?”

“I was wondering if I could sleep here tonight.” You are curious now.

“It’s all right, just be careful of Bec.” Vriska carefully slips under the covers next to you trying to not disturb the sleeping dog at your feet.

You turn around so you are face to face with your moirail, you see tear stains on her face. “Vriska!” you whisper quietly as you pull her close for a hug.

“I’m sorry Jade, I should have told you sooner, but you were so busy and I didn’t want to ruin anything.”

“Vriska, nothing is more important to me than you.”

“I spoke to Mr. Egbert yesterday.” You immediately tense up.

“What did he say?” you growl.

“It’s fine Jade, we actually reached an agreement.” She takes a deep breath, “We believe that it’s been long enough, we are taking the preparations to pull the plug on John.” You stare at her bewildered. “Soon it’ll be up to him to breathe his own breath, but most likely . . .”

She starts crying again, so you brush the hair out of her face, “Are you sure?”

“Yes, we’ve held on to him long enough, but it’s time. I was so scared before Jade. I was scared that I would be alone, so I kept John around but I’m starting to forget things about him. How he woke me up, the smell of his hair after he showered, how he groans when I want to watch Con Air. I need to move on, and I think that could only be possible if I have you by my side.” 

Bec wakes up and moves closer to the two of you so he lays in the small space between the two of you, he sniffs at Vriska and whines at her sadness. 

You hold her hands, “Don’t worry Vriska, I’m right here. I’ll always be right here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates will be slow in the upcoming weeks, so tell what you think so far!


	6. Dave

11:36 am (The middle of the day)

You take a deep breath, “I’m fine. I just hate it when people feel bad for Andrew.” You and the troll standing next to you look at the human across the street. He’s stealing hats like he wants to, what a way of life. “He’s a good guy. He only got punished for following his dream.” You look back at Kanaya and she doesn’t seem to completely believe you; which is pretty fucking disappointing, “Rose told me that you wanted to meet up with her later today.”

“That’s correct.”

“So what are you going to do? Tell her you love her so you can make out?” You only meant it as a joke.

“I-I-“

You cannot believe it, “Wait, you’re actually going to do that?”

Kanaya stares at your shades as she calms down, “Yes. Yes I am.” 

“Shit Kanaya,” you shake your head.

You might have laughed at how nervous she became, “You-You do not approve?” 

“Look, I don’t give a single fuck if you two get off together. But I don’t like my friends pairing off constantly.”

“Perhaps we are maturing.”

You shake your head, your name is Dave Strider and you are just learning that one of your best friends is probably going to bang a hot troll chick. “Perhaps everyone is too horny.” You don’t get how everyone can want to fuck constantly, even if it’s your main source of income. It never seems to be that interesting to you.

“Are you alright?” She asks as if she could even tell. 

“Whatever. You don’t want to keep her waiting.” You’d rather watch Andrew do the Huss. 

“Indeed. Goodbye Dave.”

“Yeah, good luck I guess.” You don’t look at Kanaya as she walks away; instead you watch as the son you’ve always wanted steals the cameras of people that laugh at him. Good for him.

You adjust your sunglasses; it doesn’t matter if there’s overcast because you’ll always wear them. Your Bro gave you your first pair when you were able to shit your diaper. You used them until Rose bought a pair from a garage sale and you ironically wore them because they reminded you of Ben Stiller. 

Rose. You have no fucking idea how she’ll react. Maybe you would have before, but she keeps shit to herself and whenever you try to calmly talk to her she tries to psychoanalysis you. You probably should have warned Kanaya, but why get her worried? 

3:24 am (in other words, later that night)

She wraps her arm around you and tries to bring the other around; however she is too out of it to do it right. Instead she sort of just sways back in forth while she tries to kiss you.

You gently push her mouth away as she makes another move. She is not making going into your apartment any easier. You struggle to unlock your door as she persists. As the wonderful click is made you push open the door. 

You calmly drag her by the arm towards you couch and lay her across the furniture. You go to retrieve a glass of water and make her drink it. Once she finishes it you fill it back up and place it on top of a stack of CDs close by. 

You stare at her as she is passed out in your rec room. You rub your face annoyed as you make a note for her explaining the situation. 

A headache starts to form as you feel yourself sobering up. You take your own glass of water and lie down on your bed with your small, shitty television playing as you wait to fall asleep.

8:52 am (before, earlier in the morning)

She moans and pants and groans but it’s all wrong. “Stop.” You tell Joseph. The camera man stops filming and pulls away. You walk up towards the couch with a slight frown on your face. 

The man on the couch sees you walking over and quickly pulls out of the woman, “Is something wrong Mr. Strider?” 

You sigh, “Peter, I told you that Mr. Strider doesn’t exist. I’m your unholy god that you worship.”

“So-uh-What do I call you then?”

You point to the refreshment table, “Go get a juice box Peter Stand-Stiff.” The muscular man quickly walks over to the juice with his junk flapping about. Nothing the staff isn’t used to seeing.

So all that’s left is the woman, “Is something wrong, Mr. Strider?” She bats her eyes trying to look through your shades. Porn stars, always trying to sleep with you. She isn’t even trying to cover herself, if anything she’s trying to flaunt what the porn god gave her. But screw that because in your movies, you’re the only porn god around. “Or is there something else I should call you?” She gently sucks the tip of her finger. You don’t know now if she’s trying to flirt with you or pull off that hangnail, either way she’s failing pretty badly.

“You don’t get to call me anything, Starry.” She looks mad, good because then she’s serious. “Now your agent told me that you were exactly what I was looking for, was he wrong?” 

“No! It’s that quagmire over there!” Poor man looks so sad sipping his juice box. 

You keep staring down at her, “Listen, you’re faking it too much. The audience is never going to believe this shit. It’s not good for them to laugh while they’re trying to jizz. I should fire you right now.”

“I’m under contract!”

“Oh for real? I had no clue. I better tell Lirris to send me back to elementary school because I had no fucking idea like I’m a five-year-old. Good for you. Being under contract and whatever.”

She’s looking pissed now, “You’re being sarcastic.”

“Beep boop, oh you’re right. If you weren’t under contract I wouldn’t bother having this conversation with you. Now stop fucking around and get fucking around.” You turn away but you can hear her scream into a nearby pillow. It’s probably your seriousness that pissed her off the most.

You are able to make it into your office for a well needed break.

“Hey Strider.” Well that surprised you. It’s not often when someone is able to sneak up on you.

You turn around to find Terezi sprawled across your couch. “How did you get in?”

“Well that’s rude to ask.” She sits up, “Not even a hi? Or how you doing?” 

“Sup Terezi.”

“Haha! That’s better! Anyway it’s not like you have great security here, you know.” She starts to mess with your mess on your side table.

“So why did you come by early?”

Terezi starts to play with leftover change, “Oh you know. Why not? Besides, I thought we could have some fun!”

“Fun?”

She turns back to you, “Yes Dave I need a distraction. I’m just so annoyed by Vriska today!” Terezi likes to complain about this troll. “Jade refused to listen to me the other day! I told her that Vriska shouldn’t have been left off so easily. Justice has not been served.”

“Just let it go, it was like a year ago wasn’t it?”

“I-I know!” she starts to look flustered. “But she taunts me with her freedom, and I’m afraid that she’ll corrupt Jade or Feferi!”

“Listen, you need to forget about it. You said you wanted to do something fun, right?”

Terezi gives you a wicked smile. She stands up and pulls herself closer to you, “You know I’ve never smelled your eyes.” She starts to calm down from her recent rant.

You play along, “Wow neither have I.”

“Now come on,” she reaches for your shades, “I just want a quick sniff.” She starts to wrap her fingers around your neck . . . “Maybe a lick?”

You quickly grasp her hand, “I don’t think so.”

She looks devilish at you, “Then what am I going to lick?”

Oh. You see where she’s going with this. 

Following the motions you’ve recognized so well, you hold her head and press her lips against yours. Her tongue eagerly explores your lips and the inside of your mouth. She grabs at the back of your neck to pull you in closer, and you gently lead her back to the couch. 

You lay on top of her, but you can’t seem to get in the mood. Faking it with Terezi is too hard unlike all the other times. You squeeze all the right areas, you press your crotch to hers, and you moan like you taught your employees to do. You could go all the way with her and imitate the motions, but it’s not right with her.

You lift yourself away from her. She’s still in a dazed as she tries to pull you back in, “What’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry Terezi, but I can’t.”

She starts to open her blind eyes, “What?”

“I should never have tried this.”

“Then why did you?” she’s starting to sound mad. Terezi scoots herself away from under you.

“Because I felt like I had too.”

“You . . had too? I’m not some type of obligation Dave. Why did you have to?”

“Look I know that. But I . . . I don’t know.”

She turns her head away, “Are-Are you even into me?”

“Terezi you’re awesome and hot. I just-I just don’t know if I want to or am willing to give you want you want.”

“What I want?” Uh oh, she’s angry again. 

“Yeah, you know.” You press your finger against her chest and yours, “This. Listen, maybe we shouldn’t hang out tonight. Or for a while.” It’s best if you try to distance yourself from her as soon as possible.

“Dave,” she stands up, “There is more that I could want from you than just,” she mimics you, “this. And I thought that you knew that.” 

“What else could you want from me at this point? It’s not like there’s a point of return after making out.”

“You could be a decent person and be my friend.” And with that she leaves your office in a fury. 

10: 52 pm (Later at night)

You walk into a club. The lights are pumping energy into everyone under their beams. You barely recognize anyone there, but enough people know you to let you in. 

People try to drag you to the bar or the dance floor, but you don’t feel like drinking today and the dj is fucking horrible. He’s nothing like you. You doubt his brother taught him how to dual dj and sword-fighting. What an amateur. 

You’re already done with this party, but might as well make something of this shitfest. 

You casually walk into a back room that’s already filled with a thin smoke and people out of their minds. You easily snag a small white stick out of someone’s hands and bring it to your lips. You inhale smoothly and slowly and do your best to let the drug do its work. 

You don’t know how much later it is when someone sits down next to you. “Ugh,” she moans as she plops herself by your side, “”May I have some of that?”

You hand it over and watch as she inhales too fast and ends up coughing. “Have you ever done this before?”

She wipes her mouth begrudgingly, “No. Ugh this is disgusting.” She looks around while cautiously playing with her thick troll hair, “We’re not going to be caught or anything, right?”

You take the weed away from her, “Nope.”

“Okay, because I can’t get caught and this is my first time. And I really don’t want to get any sort of offense. Not to mention I’m going through some crazy shit right now and-“

“Hey, do I look like I really care?”

She looks nervously at you, “No.”

“Good,” you take a hit from the joint.

She sighs and rests her head at the top of the couch, “This is actually kind of nice.”

You pass it back over, “I think you need this more than me.”

Hours pass, you don’t keep track of how many, and you are still talking to this troll chick. Your heads are lying down on the couch near each other and she will not stop talking. 

“So do you ever think about time?”

“No.”

“What about paradox universes?”

“No.”

“You know, I don’t think time is linear. I think it moves around and can break off to the will of each individual based on the decisions they make. So there is an infinite amount of universes! That must make every individual person spe-“

“Okay while I appreciate the cliché of you being high as fuck out of your mind right now, I don’t care.” You wish there was more to smoke, but it seems everyone emptied the supply. You wish she would have been like other normal people and not get so high off her first time.

And for the love of GOD she is way too high, “Hmm, Dave if someone that you obeyed with all your might asked you to do something bad, would you do it?”

“I don’t know troll chick.”

“My name’s Aradia.” You refuse to correct yourself. “Anyway, I think I might like that. Having someone tell me what’s right and what’s wrong. What I should do. I enjoy my free will of course! But no responsibility for my own decisions . . .”

“Ugh, are you going to try to find religion now? Is that what drugs do to you?”

“No. Your human religions don’t really excite me. I need something more in command.” 

You scoff, “I can’t wait till you get sober again so you can realize how stupid you are.”

“I’m not stupid!” Great now she’s insulted. 

“I know you’re not-It’s just . . .” You sit up and reach for a nearby drink you ordered earlier. “Let’s try a different type of brain killer.” She looks at you interested as she reaches for her own.

It takes less than an hour before she’s drunk beyond her wits. This troll seriously cannot handle anything. Why are you even hanging out with her?

“So he’s kind of cute and everything, but he has a girlfriend,” she tells you as she hangs over your shoulders. “But I don’t think I even like him like that. Maybe I should call him?”

She is basically ruining your night of leisure. Why is she even hanging over you? You shouldn’t be with her; you would have had a better time with . . .

“But still, I don’t know if I’m past . . .” she sighs.

“Yeah yeah Mr. Sigh I know.” Her whole conversation is way too cryptic and jumbled for you to make any sense of it. And you don’t even want to make sense out of it. “Maybe you should go home now.” 

She laughs in your ear and plays with your hair, “No! I don’t wanna!”

Great she’s going for the child role, “Did you come here with anyone?”

“Nope! No one wants to be friends with Fun Aradia! Except for you Dave!”

Okay you need to get her out of here; you’re tired enough as it is. You’re tempted to leave her but . . . No just bring her along. “Let me see your purse.” Maybe some identification so you can find where she lives.

“Silly Davey!” she giggles pressing closer against you. “It’s not polite to go through a lady’s purse!”

For the love of all that’s- “Can you tell me where you live at least?” 

“Haha! Nice try, my Mama Ram always told me not to bring boys home. Always go to their place so they don’t know where you live! So I guess we’re going to your house!” Thanks a lot Mama Ram, you didn’t want her to know where you live. Maybe you can burn the building down and start all over again. Wait, there’s no time for that.

“Yeah, I’m not interested.”

“Oh?” she tries to rub your chest with a single finger. Try being the main word as she just ends up mushing her hand up and down on your chest. “But I’m so sexually appealing!” That last sentence came out jumbled.

You’re almost tempted to look for that other troll girl that accidently walked in on the group; was looking for a bathroom apparently. But the way your new troll ‘friend’ looked at her scared even you. Glad Gamzee walked in and calmed that other chick down. Gamzee certainly is a miracle for that. What did he call her? Wriska? Well after those two trolls left it took a lot more smoking to calm Aradia back down.

In whatever case, you guess you should take her to back to your apartment till she sobers up. “Come on, I’m taking you to my place.”

“Ooo!”

“Definitely not like that.”

3:45 am (Way too done with this bullshit)

Someone loudly ramps on your door.

Maybe they’ll go away. 

The knocks continue even more roughly now. 

You decide to finally get up and check to see who in their right mind is waking you at this time. You look at the troll girl while you walk past; she’s squirming but still asleep.

You open the door and there is one beefy troll standing by, and by the judge of his uniform he’s a cop. Well at least you know you don’t smell like drugs anymore.

“Hello?” You’re glad that the shades are covering up your eyes because you know you don’t look pretty. How horrible, just when a troll in a uniform comes to save the day you forgot to put on your make up. Just typical. 

Hmm, now you’re wondering what Rose looks like without her makeup. You don’t believe you’ve ever seen her without it. She did convince you to wear makeup one time, and damn you looked good. Oh wait the cop has been talking. “Wait, what are you saying?”

The bulk troll huffs, “Young man, it is late and I would appreciate you paying attention. Now I’ve received word from an anonymous tip that you have kidnapped an unidentified female and have her hidden in your apartment.”

Anonymous tip your ass, it’s probably your asshole neighbor again. He probably thought you were getting laid and came up with the hilarious idea that he would have the cops catch you while you were fucking. You’ll have to kill him later.

“You’re tip is bullshit.” You back away and show the couch. “She’s right there.” He looks over to . . Aradia and is shocked. 

He starts to sweat; gross and over your nice carpet too, “Listen, if you have harmed her at all-“

“No I didn’t touch her.” What is this guy’s problem? “She had too much fun partying and wouldn’t tell me where she lived so I let her crash here.”

“Then-Then perhaps I should take her down to the police station so that she’ll be in a more secure environment.”

“I’m not going to touch her.” You’re starting to get annoyed. “Besides I think that’ll freak her out more if she winds up in jail.”

He starts to turn apologetic, “I can assure you that Ms. Megido will not habilitate a cell.”

“Megido? Do you know her?” You don’t even know her last name.

“Ah almost. She is a reporter you see . . . Also she has interviewed me before. There should be a recording of that somewhere . . . You see, I am the Chief of Skaian Police, Equius Zahhak. I can assure you she’d be safe in my care. I-I could also find out where she lives . . . with my records.”

You would be completely willing to dump her on someone else, but you don’t hate her that bad, “I don’t know, can I see some proof?” The guy pulls out his badge, but luckily you’ve worked in the porn industry long enough to tell a fake badge from a real one. Also this troll is starting to look more familiar; again this is thanks to your job in the porn industry. 

“Is this efficient?” he asks.

You shrug your shoulders giving up, “Yeah I guess, but hold on.” You grab a permanent marker from your art studio, where you basically practice your autographs, and write down your phone number on Aradia’s arm. “Tell her to call me as soon as she can.” He nods his head and moves to pick her up. With her arm draped over his shoulder, you snap a picture with your phone, “Sorry about that, a little insurance.” 

He doesn’t look happy about it, but he doesn’t complain.

As they walk out, or for her case is carried, he turns his head around, “Thank you for watching over her.”

It’s only a minute later when you gain the courage to search your phone contacts and pick out a number; it goes to voicemail of course. “HEEY! It’s me, Terezi! Leave a message if I think it matters! *BEEP*”

“Hey Terezi, I’m sorry. I know it’s late and all, but I need to say that I’m fucking stupid. And I would like to talk to you. As friends.”


	7. Rose

You’re being gloomy again. You back away from your window and stare at the package that haunts you. The package in question is a large, rectangular, white box with a purple bow wrapped around it. There’s another side packaged dressed the same, but smaller and with a small card that reads, “Eight O’Clock.”

It is almost seven fifteen and you better hurry up if you want to be ready on time. You start off by opening the large package to reveal an elegant, purple gown. Sighing, you hold it up to your body; you’ll look beautiful. You return it back to the box.

You return to your bedroom to strip out of your clothes, the cold air brushes your skin and makes goose bumps. You’re cold but you don’t try to cover up. You head to your bathroom to let the shower run ice cold water; you can’t risk any red skin.

Your name is Rose Lalonde and you can’t risk crying in the shower or at all. You press your body against the tile wall; you really messed everything up with Kanaya today. You were only shocked by the idea of dating her and panicked. But moving to drinking? You are turning into your mother. How long is it until your daughter asks you why you call the strange man daddy?

The worst part of all is that you’ve lost Kanaya; you hope she’ll forgive you but it might be safer for her if she doesn’t. It’s upsetting really; you actually like the idea of being with her. It was unexpected, but a nice thought.

But only ever a thought. You must never date her or let on the idea that you are attracted to her. He would never allow it. You only hope that it isn’t too late. You suppose that is what this meeting is about.

Once you are done with the shower, you inspect yourself in front of the mirror. Your finger nails are too dirty, your hair is flat, your breast aren’t round enough, and your face still has scars from the blemishes from high school. You clean your nails, you brush your hair exactly 73 times, you wear a bra with enough padding, and you cover your face with enough makeup that in the end of this process you’re almost unrecognizable. Exactly how he likes you.

You’re able to zip up your dress by yourself. You wait until your ride arrives, you do nothing while waiting.

A stretched, black limo pulls up in front of your apartment building. You bring nothing along.

The windows are tinted black so you do not know who picks you up, and no one moves to open the door for you. 

There is nothing to entertain you on your ride that lasts over half an hour. All you do is stare outside the window. Not thinking . . . just . . . empty.

Before you know it, you are entering an estate inside a dense forest. Too far away for anyone to find you.

A butler opens the front door for you and leads you inside; to your knowledge, no one knows that you are here except for the him and his house staff.

The clocks tick so loud to you as you wait for him to arrive. So all you do is wait once more in his den. Waiting and not knowing who is inevitably watching you.

“Rose,” he finally arrives for you with open arms. You stand up from your seat and slowly move towards him. “You’ve never looked more lovely than today,” he says while he inspects you. “How disappointing.” Your heart falters. 

You are never able to please him. Your professor, Doctor Scratch. “I apologize.”

He backs away, “As you should. Now hurry up, dinner will be getting cold.” You follow him, “Stop dragging your feet,” he orders. You pick up the pace. 

You both eat at opposite ends of a long table; except you eat more than he does. Scratch never seems to be hungry, but he lavishes watching you. Critiquing you.

“Slow down on the steak, my flower. Just because it’s in front of you doesn’t mean you have to eat it like a wild boar.” He laughs to himself, “It’s been awhile since your last visit hasn’t it? We’ve both been a bit busy.” The whole campaign scared you back then, but you don’t know if him giving up the position scares you more. 

“Yes, you are a wonderful public speaker.”

“Of course I am,” he sips his wine. “But you have been busy too. Tell me, how is Ms. Maryam?” You accidently scratch your plate with your knife. “You have been spending an awful amount of time with her.” You wonder how far this knife could be thrown. “She seems certainly fond of you.” You-You can’t. You can’t. Instead you grip you knife’s sharp edge in your hand under the table. “One could say I was a bit jealous.” You feel warmth in your hands as fresh blood starts to run.

“That’s ridiculous. I belong to you.” And indeed you do. His control over you is almost frightening. You thought in the beginning that you could manipulate him, but you were so wrong. Now you cannot do anything without his approval. You are constantly in fear of his every decision. 

He owns you. He tells you what to do. Where to go. What to touch . . . But you can never touch him. Only he can touch you. Whether you want him to or not. But you want him to, because he wants to. 

He makes you sick. You hate him. You hate him you hate him you hate him! 

“How are you feeling?” he asks.

“I love you.” You grip the knife harder to keep the tears back. You can feel his smile because he knows exactly what you are doing and thinking. You don’t know how he knows, but he does!

He pats his mouth with his napkin, “I’m satisfied. Let’s retreat to my room.” He saunters over to you and extends a hand for you to accept. You take it and soil his white gloves with your blood. 

You hate his whole mansion. The green and the constant ticking make you want to vomit instantaneously, but it’s more the fact that he’s here. His room doesn’t help the situation; there are no good memories there.

“Do you like your dress?” he asks you with really asking.

“It’s another fine pick.”

He brushes your arm gently, “I would like you to stay here for a while.” A while could mean days.

“I cannot,” you reply truthfully. “My mother is expecting me to visit soon.” 

Scratch is displeased, “She’s trying to take you away again?”

“Yes.”

“Well as long as you return.”

“Of course.” He pecks you on your forehead. He loathes your mother. Her spontaneous personality keeps him from understanding her. You remember when they first met, when you were still happy to be with him. Your mother didn’t like him from the start, and she only knew him as your professor, but you can tell she was suspicious. But Scratch, he understands her less than you do. She’s like a void in his mind, he explained to you. So you try to keep away from your mother, as he wants you to. But your mother demands to see you from time to time. 

“So what torture is she going to thrust upon you this time?” he asks while brushing your hair back.

“I expect the usual: home-cooked meals, she’ll clean the house rather than talk to me, she’ll drink enough to ask me how I am, and she’ll probably have me dotted over during church.”

“Hmph,” he smiles, “It’s surprising to see such a woman still go to church, well for anyone to go to church. Tell me, did you know that religion was so important to humans that wars have been fought over it?” He answers before you have a chance to. “Of course you didn’t know. You’re not really smart when it comes to history. Or anything really.” You try to look away ashamed, but he brings your eyes towards his. “And just look at religion now, it’s a dying practice like self-preservation.”

He leads you towards his couch, “I shall tell you a story,” he informs you. You take a place beside him. “The story of our history. Of everyone’s history. The story of how humans and trolls grew to live side-by-side.” He brushes a strand of hair behind your ear, “Now listen well for I do love my stories. There will be no questions from you.

“It all started long ago in an amount of time you could not possibly comprehend, in a world with a universe lost to those who cherished it. A forgotten planet called Alternia was at its peak of prosperity. A war centered planet that had enslaved countless surrounding planets. All led by the Queen of the Trolls. The Empress Condescension. What a bold, vain and arrogant troll. But she was able to save her species from extinction. For you see, Alternia faced an apocalypse of its own.

“Fires, tornadoes, tsunamis, and even meteorites destroyed the planet beyond repair. Alternia had met its final night. The Empress was able to save as many lusus and trolls on her armada and flee to the space. Now at this point, she was wounded, and all the planets that she conquered knew, so the rebelled against her against her so her crippled species had nowhere to seek sanctuary. Hope was lost for her.

“But The Empress is a vicious creature, one who would not give up easily. Instead, she spent sweeps upon sweeps upon sweeps searching for a planet that could sustain her and her species. But with all this time passing by, the trolls she had originally saved no longer existed. They had all died out and had been replaced by the next generation, and the next and so on. Those trolls eventually gave up on the hope of finding a planet, or even ever conquering again. So they deteriorated in their traditional skills and stopped being the warriors they once were. Just . . . surviving on those ships. No one wanted to live that way, but no one dared to challenge The Empress, not with her lusus by her side. 

“And that’s where Earth comes in. A luscious planet that could support the trolls for now and sweeps to come; only problem is the humans are inhabiting their planet. Now the humans had a conflict of their own, the year was 1943 and many of the leading nations where in the middle of what they were calling “World War II.” However, they had no idea what to expect when aliens destroyed all of their leading capitals; which included many of their nations’ leaders.

“This is by far the worst decision The Empress could have made, for instead of weakening the humans as she expected, she banded them together. The humans looked at each other as brothers and sisters for the Great War and became a serious threat to The Empress.

“Now The Empress was arrogant to believe no one could defeat her army, but she was far too out of touch with her soldiers to know how the travel affected them. The trolls were not taught to fight as strategically as before, for what was the point before? And The Empress would have known if she didn’t keep herself locked up with her Helmsman envisioning a new world. 

“But even with the trolls lacking real fighting experience, they should have vanquished the humans with their superior technology. However, humans are capable of producing numbers. No matter how many humans the trolls destroyed, they always had more. Reproduction in mass units is not an ability the trolls have. Trolls are made to have a supreme warrior and are to dispose of any that do not meet that mark. Humans care not for that, and when the trolls crush a hundred of them, the humans grow stronger with passion. 

“Passion that The Empress could never rise up out of her soldiers. She never joined any fights, but stayed in her ship. The trolls only fought for her out of fear and exhaustion. 

“There is one troll that took the leadership role, and unfortunately for The Empress, he worked against her. Now Rose, even with your lack of knowledge about historical figures, I would never expect you to know The Signless.”

He looks at you expectantly and on demand you ask, “Who is that?”

As fast as a bullet he yanks hard on your left ear making you cry out in pain. “I thought I told you no questions!” He lets go and you cannot help but fall aside to cry to yourself. He goes on, “The Signless is a troll The Empress never expected. A caretaker of the Mother Grub hid him away in order to avoid culling him. He was raised in isolation. He only stepped forward when the Great War occurred. But instead of staying on his species’ side, he became a savior for both. He joined together the trolls and humans who were tired of fighting. And while it wasn’t easy for the humans to accept him, they listened to his story of never having a safe home, and that Earth could be everyone’s home, and that’s how everyone felt. The Signless was the first troll to reach out to the humans with no violent force. The humans couldn’t believe such a troll could exist. 

“And so a pact was formed between the humans and the trolls: that when the war was over, the humans and trolls would share the Earth in harmony. Laws would be rewritten throughout the land, most of the land was already unrecognizable, in order to start new cities for the humans and trolls. The pact was made where what would become The Capital, the first troll/human city. 

“But after the pact was made, the Signless was assassinated on order of The Empress who found out through her spies. And even the Signless’s closest followers abandoned the dream. However, everyone else was blazing ambition to put an end to this war and stop The Empress. Luckily there was one follower of the Signless who could put an end to all of the fighting: the Helmsman. The psychic troll was able to pick up the Signless’s speeches over transition and became a follower under The Empress’s nose. He messaged them declaring his loyalty after the Signless was murdered, and a plan was set in place.

“There is not a lot that can damage The Empress’s main vessel, but the humans were working on a project the called “Manhattan.” The Manhattan Project consisted of creating a bomb of nuclear potency. One bomb could vaporize anything in its radius. And the Helmsman was instructed to drop the shields on the ship that carried The Empress’s lusus first, and then on The Empress’s ship. This of course intended suicide for the Helmsman, but he knew. 

“With the first bomb destroying the Gl'bgolyb before it could utter a slight cry, The Empress was powerless against the second. Her own soldiers abandoned her on the ship, and it is assumed she died.” He lets out a light cough, “But returning our conversation to how it had started, once the humans ‘defeated’ an entire species that believed itself to be above their god or gods; how could many humans find comfort in going to the belief of their religion? Faith is a mysterious virtue.” Scratch gives a little smile to you, “So how did you enjoy my story?” He looks at you expectantly.

“I believe that you don’t think she’s dead,” you say just above a whisper.

Scratch chuckles to himself, “Now why would you say something like that?”

“You said “it is assumed she died.” Why would you say that?”

“Call it a little theory I have, my dear Rose. The only other person on the ship with The Empress, was the Helmsman.”

“But he was devoted to the cause.”

He gingerly grabs your hand and the squeezes it too tight, “Don’t interrupt. The two trolls had a relationship very similar to ours. You are the Helmsman, and I am The Empress. That should help clear things up, because I know that you love me too much to let me die. So much that you would kill yourself, to protect me from the wrath of others.” He releases your hand. “Tell me, how did things go today with our little patient?”

You pull yourself up, “Everything worked just like you said. Gamzee gave me the drug, and Karkat took it and noticed the changes immediately. . . Why are you doing this to him? What are you planning?”

He wipes a tear away from your cheek, “My dear, when the time comes, I want Mr. Vantas to be operating at his full potential. No distractions.”

“Time for what?”

Scratch leans forward and kisses you on the forehead, “You ask too many questions.” He stands up, “Come, it’s time for you to go. I was planning on having you stay here, but if you cannot . . . I’ll have you leave now. I am expecting company shortly.”

“Company?”

He does not respond. Instead he leads you out of his mansion into the limo and soon enough you find yourself back in your apartment feeling emptier than before.


	8. Nobody

Your name is Fezilk Macgob. You are twelve sweeps old with dark green blood. You were raised by a giant mantis lusus. With you blood caste you had the capability and the expectation to be successful but to not really matter. You live and sleep with you matesprit of almost a sweep, Unzelt, who is currently beside you in bed. You have a job as an auto salestroll, and do a decent job at that.

But none of this matters because this is the most important day of your life. This is the day you stop being Fezilk Macgob and become a Nobody. A person who no longer exists and therefore cannot be noticed or missed. You are turning everything away for the cause. For your group, The Change, that is run by the mysterious SJ. You don’t know who he or she is despite being with the cause for over a sweep. Perhaps that will change now that you are a Nobody.

The Change, an underground organization whose name is unknown to many; there have been special procedures to keep the media out of the loop. Sure they’ve tried to figure it out, but SJ is so smart and brilliant that nobody will stop The Change. They just don’t understand. The Change’s motto is to bring new life to the dead society of today. Bring happiness and prosperity to everyone. No more misery. No more darkness. But you know as well as everyone that this change does not come without sacrifices; for in order to find peace, you must first conquer suffering. Thus, this is part of the reason why today you become a Nobody.

It is time for you to say goodbye to Fezilk Macgob and your old life. You roll over to look at Unzelt, you do love him but as a Nobody you’ll bring a better future for him. But it will be a future without you. You slowly leave the bed to stiffen and movements to keep him asleep; it would be better if he didn’t wake. He does not know about today or that you are even a part of The Change. You don’t want him to be sacrificed. 

You change your clothes and clean your face, it is recommended for a new start. You eat your last meal as Fezilk Macgob, a bagel with cream cheese. It is your favorite. And after looking at every room in your small apartment, you leave for the last time, never to return. 

As you have never been an approved member before, you have always met in various inconspicuous locations: the mall, a restaurant, or someone’s home who has left for vacation. You’ve only met a few members that have handed you small tasks that you’re assured aid The Change. You’ve done such actives as: delivering a package, walking an elderly person to their home, sitting at a park bench for an hour, and so on. You don’t know how your actions will help, but you trust The Change.

You discovered The Change before you met Unzelt. You were going through dark times in your life. A newly created drug that gives a sensational high once injected. It wasn’t long till you ended up in an alley way beaten up for trying to rob someone. 

Fortunately, The Change found you and nursed you back to health. You do not remember much about them as they kept their characteristics hidden, but you knew they were good. You believe that if they could save you, then they could save Skaia. You joined their organization and became a truly honest citizen. The Change has saved your life and others. 

About a year ago, you watched the news as members of The Change were arrested for possessing illegal substances and assaulting two officers. You didn’t ask what was going on. It doesn’t matter because those people failed because they are not worthy. You are worthy.

You are almost bursting with excitement. Ooo perhaps you’ll finally be able to meet the wonderful and powerful SJ! Hopefully you will not be blinded by his radiance. 

These are all thoughts that go through your head as you reach your terminus. You’ve walked several blocks to an apartment building. Going to the fourth floor you find the room with little difficulty. 

You open the door which is unlocked as you were instructed. The first room in bare with dim lighting and rough carpet. A man enters from another room to greet you.

“Greetings Fezilk,” he says. “Are you ready to begin your transformation?” 

“Yes.” 

“Good.” He snaps his fingers and a troll and man enter the room, but the troll is tied by the wrists and ankles not to mention the gag. “You will begin the process here, and each room will satisfy a part of your cleansing.” He briefly looks down at the captured troll, “I wish you well.” These are such comforting words that have no substance behind them. 

The men leave while the tied up troll remains. You see deep blue tears running down his face. 

Excellent. 

First cleansing: Wrath. 

You bend down to the troll, “My name is Fezilk Macgob, and you are going to help me. Do you remember me?” The troll shakes his head softly crying. “We went to school together. We were almost seven sweeps old. Remember?” You think you hear him beg. “You beat me. You stole from me. And you hurt my lusus!” You hold the troll up by the collar, “Remember Betely? Remember?!” you scream in his face. 

You smash his face down to the floor as hard as you can. “You called me pathetic!” The carpet helps scratch up his face while you use your nails to scratch the other side with all your might. “I was only a loser in your eyes! People avoided me because of you!” You bring your hands together and pound repeatedly in his skull. “I was so alone,” you whisper.

It doesn’t take long for the man to stop moving. 

Second cleansing: Sloth.

The next room is the bathroom; you take this time to clean your hands. Wondering what to expect you look out the window. You look just in time to see a young woman get stripped from her clothes and beaten. She cries and begs for a savior, yet none arrive. You notice a convenient phone next to you. Instead, you watch the energy running through the two of them, and you do nothing to stop it. The culprit leaves the scene without anyone to witness it besides the woman and you. 

You leave for the next room.

Third cleansing: Lust.

The bathroom leads to a room with a double bed. A young, beautiful troll lays sprawled out naked for you. She gives you sultry eyes that beckons you. She fits all the qualifications you told The Change. You move across the room without any fear or hesitation. You have your way with her feeling more satisfied than you did with Unzelt. You leave her wet, bruised, and exhausted. 

You don’t care what happens to her now. She was probably a pawn used by The Change anyways. She filled her duty. 

Fourth cleansing: Gluttony. 

The kitchen has a set prepared for you of every food that you’ve ever cherished. From cookies served with lusus milk to a cluckbeast wrapped in strips of meat. You stuff yourself with as much as you can and continue. 

You even end up puking at one point on the floor, but continue the feast afterwards. 

Fifth cleansing: Envy.

You enter a closet. Very small and very cramped. Inside there is a small television screen with a recording. You watch as one of your fellow employees, who has always been the top salesperson, crumbles. You watch as he’s blamed for stealing from the company and even sleeping with the boss’s wife. And as he returns home to find out that his wife heard about the ‘affair,’ and is leaving him and taking the kids along with. Then his homeowner comes by to kick him out to the streets for stealing and ruining the homeowner’s car. You continue to watch as the man looks for help from friends and family, who all turn him down calling him crazy. They tell him that he isn’t the man they knew before. He finally stands on top of a stool in a barn that no one knows he’s in, with a rope wrapped around his neck. He kicks the stool out from underneath. 

He’ll be discovered when the farmer goes to tend his animals in the morning.

Sixth cleansing: Greed.

You enter another room with . . . with more money than you can possibly believe. A mound of bills that you jump into immediately. You’ve never been a rich troll, and you won’t deny rubbing wads around you. You’ve never dreamed of acquiring this in your lifetime. It was never possible to you. The mere sight of the riches is strangely enough to satisfy you.

Seventh cleansing: Pride.

You return to the first room where the man who greeted you waited. You still see deep blue stains in the carpet. 

“Fezilk, your thoughts on our organization?”

“The Change is an elite group that is the only chance of salvation this world has. Every Nobody of The Change goes through cleansing where they indulge in the worst of sins in order to never experience them again. A Nobody is obedient, sensible and perfect. I am proud to be a Nobody.” You’ve practiced the slogan for weeks. 

The man smiles, “You’ve completed your cleansing, Brother. Welcome to The Change as an official member.”

“Thank you, Brother.” 

“You have an assignment. Tonight you will escort me to a meeting representing our group. You will not speak or make any contact with anyone else there. Your job is to pay attention and give impute after the meeting. Do you understand?” 

“I understand, Brother.” 

“Good. Until tonight, you will be briefed on who we are expecting to see tonight. Stay on your toes. Worse case scenarios are that tonight can end as a blood bath, and that is not unlikely.” 

You nod your head understandingly. 

However, later that night you cannot help but feel excited, for perhaps this meeting will lead you to seeing SJ. Oh the great leader will be so proud of you. 

You’re riding in a small, black car beside your Brother. You both keep silent while preparing mentally over the night. The meeting place is far away outside of Skaia inside a forest. 

Actually the place makes you marvel. It appears that the mansion is painted completely green. It’s astounding that for a building of such size, someone would dedicate time to completely paint it. You follow your Brother inside. 

And wonders upon you, the inside is green as well! Not to mention there is a loud ticking from green clocks that must be in every room! You’ll have to keep calm though in order to have a level head; do not forget the purpose. This day is getting to your head.

A member of the house staff directs you and your Brother to a large room with couches, the parlor, which already contains other guests. 

To the left of you sits the representatives of the Midnight Crew: Hearts Boxcars and Diamonds Droog. They are both high members to their group, but nothing in comparison to their leader, Spades Slick. You and your Brother take the right of the room.

“Ah, our guests have arrived,” a man says as he enters the room. Doc Scratch, he ran and succeeded running for mayor of Skaia recently and is the owner of this land. His public job is a psychology professor of Skaia University, but he is also a representative of the Felt.

He turns around with an extended hand to bring forth a woman, Betty Crocker. She is the CEO of Crocker Corporation and she recently arrived to Skaia to bring forth new business to save Skaia’s economy. Her appearance here is expected, but still strange to you personally. There is not much information personally on either of the two. 

“Gentleman,” he looks at you, “and troll, welcome to my home. I thank you all for giving me your time for this bountiful opportunity.”

“Scratch,” Droog interrupts, “hurry up with your spiel.” Droog is second in command and has an easier temper than others in the mob. Rumors suggest that Slick would be stabbing someone already. Boxcars grunts something that you cannot understand. 

“Snowman sends Slick her apologizes but she is still needed by our Lord’s side,” Scratch answers. “But it will comfort you to know that Mrs. Crocker here is sufficient.” The woman does not look too pleased with anyone in her company. You do not know much on Snowman, or the intermingling relationships between groups; except that they hate each other. 

Mrs. Crocker steps forward to look Droog squarely in the eye, “Listen here you cu-“ Scratch loudly clears his throat, and she steps back, “-honored guests.” She stands up straight and folds her hands over each other, “We are gathered here tonight in order to form a union. A union that will allow everyone to accomplish what we want.”

“We want the Felt out of here,” Droog declares. “It’s one if not the only demand Slick had.”

“Join us,” Scratch says, “and I can guaranteed that the Felt will leave Skaia never to return.”

Droog doesn’t hesitate, “You’re lying.”

“If there is ever a time to trust me, it’s now.”

Boxcars grunts. “Boxcars is right, you’re never trustworthy,” Droog translates. 

“Yet, you’re tempted by our offer,” Scratch smiles knowingly. “Don’t worry, no answers are required tonight. I only have the proposition.” He looks over to you and your Brother, “The Change has been quiet.” 

Scratch knowing your group’s name is a bit surprising, but then again it isn’t. Scratch has this feeling around him that he knows more than you. And you want to know what it is and you’ll do anything to find out; even now you’re unease at his look. What sort of control does this man have?

It’s no wonder that he’s representing the Felt. 

Your Brother speaks, “We are here to observe. We have no other impute to provide. Our leader will make the decision.”

“Your leader, SJ, yes. He’s an interesting one indeed.” Scratch chuckles, “How long does he plan on hiding because he certainly isn’t fooling me.”

You are shocked. You look over to see your Brother is the same. You want to say, “No! You don’t know who our leader is! You’re wrong!” But you can’t. It’s not that you’re not supposed to speak, but because you DO believe that Scratch knows SJ. But him, not even a Nobody, can’t know who your leader is. 

But he does. You can just tell that he does, And by the way your Brother looks, he feels the same way. “We’re listening.” 

Scratch reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out two letters, “For your superiors. There is a way to reach me inside. I’ll expect an answer shortly.”

Boxcars shakes the envelope listening for something. Droog knows, “No tricks.”

Scratch gives a short, deep laugh, “Not tonight. Goodnight everyone.”

And the meeting was over in a flash. It felt so surreal, like a dream. You can’t believe it. 

Your Brother drives you back to Skaia, it’s near the outskirts when he starts questioning you. “Your thoughts on the meeting.”

“Scratch is terrifying. All of them are. And all of them want something and I fear they might not coincide with each other. Also-“ you hesitate. 

“No holding back, Brother.”

“Also, I’m curious as to why Scratch had us meet in person to only deliver a literal message.”

Your Brother stares ahead somber, “Scratch is a dangerous man. By bring us together we know he’s serious, but . . . He knows he has us in his grasp. I know you felt it. He has a power to control us that I cannot contemplate, and it’s only stronger the closer you are. I understand you being afraid.” 

“I apologize.”

“No. I apologize.” He pulls the car over and puts a plastic glove on his right hand. “I apologize that this was your one and only assignment as a Nobody. But there can be no spare threads to unravel The Change.” Brother lifts up his shirt to reveal a recording device strapped to his chest. “You should die happy to know that SJ will learn of our actions.”

Die? “What do you mean by-“ He reveals a gun from a compartment in the car.

“You are going to die, as it is the end result for all Nobodies. We give up everything for The Change. We would have informed you, but we did not think you could handle the news. That is why I am here.” He turns the safety off of the pistol. “I am going to shoot you. Then I will remove your corpse and place the gun appropriately in your hand. I will drop the letter and recording off at its destination. Then I will drive this car into another to end my life. Suicides and accidents happen all the time, we will not be of concern.”

You stare into his eyes, “Don’t,” you beg.

“I’m sorry, but it is ordered by SJ.” He points the small handgun right beside your head, it rests in your hair. “You are a part of the great plan.”

“Wait! One last request, please?!” Your Brother raises his eyes and allows your request. “Who is SJ? Who are we following?”

He looks at you with regretful eyes, “I’m sorry, but I do not even know who he is. I only know that he has been with us since the beginning. Goodbye.”

He pulls the trigger.

You feel a force press into your skull.

And go out the other end.

The pain lasts for less than a second.

And then you feel nothing.

And then you are nothing.

You are nobody.

**Author's Note:**

> As always, feel free to visit the tumblr ask page to mess with the characters or whatever you care to do.


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